Spiral
by Kefka Knows Where You Sleep
Summary: Yullen. –I know you can't forget the past, you can't forget love and pride, because of that it's killing you inside.– Those fools, they'll just fall into their downward spiral; how will they come out if  they just know how to destroy each other? EDITED
1. Hurt

**So, first of all, this is the english translation of fanfic 'Spiral', originally written on spanish by 'myself', as Pink Nymphetamine. Since I've got so many free time lately, I thought I could try improving my english by translation my own work... yes, I'm quite egocentric. But aside it, I wanted to share this fanfic with english readers outside, cause I feel very proud of this baby. Be kind enough to tell me if anything fails in my english, cause between me and my personal beta reader we have english as our second language.**

**Oh, and I'm also translating some author notes, cause, as I said, I've got so much time left. I'll try to update regularly. Thanks for for your time.**

* * *

**Title: **Spiral

**Fandom:** D. Gray Man

**Genre: **Angst, Drama, Suspense, Tragedy, Romance.

**Main Characters:** Allen Walker, Yu Kanda, Lenalee Lee, Noise Marie... others...

**Warnings: **Explicit Violence, Obscene Language, Sexual Themes, Lots of Black Humor, Heterosexuality (xD), Homoeroticism, Manga Spoilers, Bizarre and violent deaths.

* * *

**I. Hurt.**

The life of an exorcist was in the habit of being riddled with tragedies. The torment only began when one was deciding to join the Black Order. But the one who was born being an exorcist, it was destined for even worse things. Someone as him would live always with the same misfortunes, and would die wretched, as all.

Since always he learned to ignore his own problems, a route of effective loophole to the spiritual discomfort, though his birth itself had been blessed by a spiritual murder. There were days in which sometimes he forgot to wonder if he owned a soul or not. The time would never compensate that one question.

They all helped him to occupy his mind in the ignorance, not because it was a better idea to be blocked up of his real problems. Sometimes they were so heavy and horrible things that could not be kept simply to the margin all the time. They were things that they'd be better to be ignored, for the welfare of his mental health... though Kanda had an incredible will power, his mind was so capable of breaking as of any human being.

Then he learned to apply the nonchalance. Trying to feel human to escape of that one curse that was retaining him in the emotional loneliness. He knew he was young, was mature, was solitary ... and he was a man.

Every man was managing to have along his life certain needs, Kanda noticed to the moment to have near him that stifling aroma that characterized a woman; and from some time in his life he had had the curiosity 'to feel' how a woman. A perfectly justifiable distraction. Or probably not too perfect.

Emilia Galmar (1), personal tutor of the exorcist kid Timothy Hearst, was a charming, young and nice woman and of an enviable body –and he couldn't avoid to notice that she had specially big bosoms–; but he might never love her indeed. It had to be a bastard without heart to be 'using her', he had to be a damned son of bitch for playing this way with the sweet Emilia. But while she continued believing in the game of 'loving', he could occupy his thoughts in the simple desire of the libido.

Oh, the damned sinful libido. He believed for a couple of months that Emilia was sufficient to satisfy those primitive needs, in order that his mind could deal with something more that heavy cross that he was always carrying on his back. And he was dead wrong.

One day he realized of how empty the lust left his body. Of how useless and destructive was it to forget the past.

Simply... he couldn't obtain the sufficient to forget his own problems. He'd never stop having them there, as ghosts that haunted his unconsciousness and were filling his head with those images of the past. Endless pictures of blood.

* * *

June 6th

In his dreams he was walking in a crooked scene, could feel his barefooted feet to walk on a cold and humid surface, treading on remains, pieces of meat and guts that were spread to every angle that his eyes could reach. And on that mountain of carnage, on dozens of dismembered corpses, there was that one child.

'_I'm so happy, I thought that it was only me.'_

The Innocence already was in his hand, couldn't take it out of his flesh, the weapon in his hand was there because its intention was of killing. His breath was becoming colder while his lungs were filling with the metallic aroma of the massacre. The child looked straight to his eyes. The sword finally took shape. Its burning was intolerable, but it soon began to accept the tact of his flesh, his bones and his blood.

'_They say that you are called Yu.'_ The following scene, there was the same child. Was beyond recognition, it was cut off in several pieces and in his left hand was the katana that massacred the poor thing. But his eyes were still focused on him, raging, nor more sweet nor innocent, filled of tears. He wanted to share that suffering.

'_Uhm... Me?... Uhm... It's kinda embarrassing._' Yet it was moving, still it was breathing. It was still alive, but not for long. He couldn't do anything for him anymore.

'_Erm... They call me...'_ The child was agonizing of pure pain, the blood was spreading all down his feet, weaving the crimson carpet to that wretched environment. It had to be dead already. He touched his own face, also it was humid. He felt an horrible pressure on the chest, as if it was contracting, as his couldn't stop to breathe violently. For that one child torn into pieces he couldn't do anything ... the darkness swallowed to him. A darkness that seemed to be endless. He was felt anger, resentment, so much pain in all inside his small body; somehow he understood he was feeling like the child who had just been annihilated.

'_Alma._' It was an almost a subtle ripple that managed to escape away from his lips, in response to the feelings that were showing inside his heart. He listened to a noise, as if the door of his room was closed hurriedly. He opened at one stroke his eyelids, realized that he was in the solitary coldness of his room. Emilia did not sleep last night with him, if his memory didn't failed him. Probably he had begun to get used to her. But he couldn't explain the sound of scourge of his door. He'd kill the fucker that had got inside his bedroom while he was sleeping.

The first thing that his eyes caught went to another side of the room, that one seemingly interesting hourglass, where a beautiful pink lotus fower was inside the top. Below there were lying six fallen petals.

Six petals. The last time that he remembered, there were five.

Time was sure going on fast.

He was really fucked-up, he thought. Whenever he didn't wanted to, his mind insisted to remember that one child, one poor stupid child, a poor child who now didn't exist anywhere but inside his dreams only.

Today it was June 6. Damned were all the coincidences. Again the memories were coming back. The day of his birth was something hateful for him. He couldn't see the need of celebrating one more year of existence, if it only meant that he was aging more and approaching more in the day of his death. And if he was such a hated character, nobody would celebrate his existence.

'_Happy birthday, Yu.'_

He'd only go and have breakfast and would try the best to ignore them to all. Then he could be going to meditate awhile, since Lenalee Lee had gone away to a mission yesterday, so he would be able stand it today. He took Mugen, his beautiful sword, only just in case he'd need to threaten someone who could be pestering him.

The same thing of always, he asked the Chef Jeryy to prepare for him the soba he loved, though he ate that same shit every day while living inside Black Order's quarters. If it was not soba or tempura, it was not food. He liked to eat it calmly, becoming deaf to enjoy as much as possible.

But there was something that was disturbing him. Inside his space there was someone else. Wasn't Emilia, neither Marie, nor the small Timothy, nor the General Tiedoll, or another idiotic Finder who wanted to bother him neither. It had to be 'him'. Precisely that one weird boy who for some reason decided to stop near him while he was trying to eat. Already knew that he was he without a single glance; why would he look at that damned phenomenon with albinism and with a ridiculous pentacle-shaped scar on his left eye? And surely to his side was also that prudish inspector, 'supervising', since he was supposed to. Kanda didn't want to see one or the other. Much less the first one.

Fuck. He was still there, right?

Why was the Beansprout coming here instead of choking himself in food as always, as every morning?

"What do you want?" finally Kanda asked in a very bad mood, still he refused to look at him directly.

"Lenalee asked me to give you this." said the Beansprout boy, his voice was not denoting expression of any feeling; so he put on the table, next to the plate of soba a small brown package, wrapped in a simple white bun. "As she couldn't be here today... she asked me to deliver it to you, it is your birthday, right?"

Kanda looked out of the corner of the eye at the small box. There was a card with of blue inked letters in cursive that were saying clearly '_From Komui and Lenalee for Kanda'_. He made a gesture of disgust and pushed aside the small present. It was completely sure that it was a silly thing that Komui Lee made for him as 'gift' this year. It was the fifth consecutive time, and for the last three years he threw away the small box that always had the name of these siblings.

"What the hell was that?" complained the Beansprout boy, angered by Yu Kanda's instantaneous rejection to his birthday present. True, this was the first time that he knew what day was 6th of June.

"I'm not interested."

"Are you just going to throw away a gift as if it was some kind of little shit?" reproached the Beansprout, seemingly offended. No, he always seemed to be offended to every single thing Kanda could answer to him.

"Yes. Problem?"

"Nobody gives me anything on my birthday... Don't even know when is it my birthday... But anyways, at least someone is bothering to remember yours!"

"Nice."

"You're truly an idiot..." the young man mumbled. "Just come on, take it. Lenalee is going to get angry at you if you don't take it."

"Ah. Good." answered with lost interest, trying to return to his breakfast.

"It's also on behalf from Komui. Open it."

"If it's from Komui then I have major reasons to don't open it."

"... Aren't you going to take it?"

"Don't you have anything else to do besides screwing up my morning, stupid Beansprout?"

And there it comes. With that one magic word was sufficient to ignite it. Howard Link, who only had to monitor it, didn't say anything, but simply he couldn't avoid showing his face of displeasure, because the scene of the daily lawsuit was coming in way.

"My name is Allen." the albino said wrinkling the space between the eyebrows. If there was something that could satiate Allen Walker more than anything it was that Kanda was calling him 'Beansprout'.

"Fuck off. I'm trying to eat." the young man answered in bore.

"Just take the gift already. It's not that hard."

"Out of my sight."

"You're not even looking at me, you Kanda idiot!"

"Just take the fucking box and shave it up to your ass, I'm giving it to you." the asian spitted out contemptuously. The boiling pot was on the verge of exploiting.

"Are you stupid or what?... Kanda, did you know that you look like a very ugly woman?"

"What did you say?" they could notice one stout vein on Yu's forehead covered of black bangs.

"Kanda you have diarrhea every day or that one is the face with which you were born?"

"Will you shut the fuck up or I shall take care of shutting you up instead?"

"Is that so? And how do you glide to do it?" the kid asked challenging.

"I will push this sword up through your ass and then will take out from your throat, that'll be easy." said on showing off his inseparable katana inside its case, trying to seem as menacing as possible.

"Both of you." interrupted Link, who seemed forced to interfere before those two went in for the kill. "Can't you have a discussion without taking out the death-threats? Specially you, exorcist Kanda. Take care of your dirty language."

"Already lost the appetite. I'm leaving." Kanda simply got up abruptly pushing aside his plate of breakfast, then made a face of utter disgust for both men after him. "You two make me sick. Specially you." muttered inside teeth, giving a dark cold gaze to Allen Walker.

* * *

Allen wouldn't bother to answer, nor he might go after him, Link took him of the shoulder looking at him apprehensively. It'd be the best to ignore it and simply to continue with the life. An irritable fucker like Yu Kanda wasn't worth it; he looked at him leaving the dining room, probably would go to some other lonely place. Or probably would be going to hang out with Emilia. He wasn't completely sure, didn't matter anyways. But Allen knew that he wouldn't be able to ignore him completely, even when he'd hate it so much if he was to admit it.

This morning, when he remembered Lenalee's favor, he decided that it was going to be a better idea to leave the little box inside Kanda's door before he could wake up. Would open the door rapidly and secretly would put the gift there, then he'd never have to face him to do his small task. But it happened on the rare moment of having caught him sleeping.

Sleeping Kanda, of small light dreams, Allen never had the opportunity to see that one asian exorcist on sleep, just like any other common and current human being would do. It seemed to be so normal. And he was murmuring things while he was sleeping.

" _Alma _", he heard. A name, a person that Kanda was calling, gasping with sadness. Had Kanda just called the name of a person in his dreams? Had that cold exorcist who seemed not to have fondness to anything and anybody murmured with so innocent nostalgia the name of a person?

Before it was too late, Allen disappeared of the room, because well, he knew that Yu Kanda would tear into pieces the one who was entering to his privet room without permission. However, Allen didn't comment on anything of this to Link, who only had just waited outside for the youngster.

He thought it through after that small moment. Until today, Allen always believed that Yu Kanda was a bastard without feelings, but with only that one sweet ripple of innocent nature, the whole panorama had given a return. Just momentarily. After the events in the dining room, he came back to think that Kanda was only that same stupid grumper.

"Link ... now what should I do with the gift of Lenalee and Komui? I cannot return it to them just like this."

"I don't think they'll be so much upset, if Kanda gets his mood so bad on this day in particulary. Already they must have foreseen it."

"Why would he hate his own birthday?"

"I don't know, and it is not a part of my job to know it."

"... I wasn't expecting any more from you, Link." yes, because with him it was quite difficult to chat indeed. Only they were exchanging words, but there wasn't anything else than it. And the worst thing of everything, it's that he was monitored by him all the time, the twenty-four hours of the day. The reason? Allen supposedly could be an enemy of the Black Order. Noah Family, it was. And it was the one who inherited the memories of their traitor, the Fourteenth Noah.

But he would prefer to don't think over the topic, because if he did, the whole day he'd carry had an incredible amount of stress; he already had enough with Kanda for one day.

Soon his day took a 'much happier' draft, because Lenalee returned early from her mission with another exorcist Chaoji Han. Seemingly what the Finders believed that it was an Innocence shard, it turned out at all more than a phenomenon that didn't have relation with what they were searching. Yes, it was a disappointment, but this happened in the half of the cases. The wastes were a normal thing.

Lenalee Lee was only one year older than Allen, and she was really beautiful, also she was very nice girl, a case that she was as pretty in the outside as in the inside. But at the moment Allen showed that the birthday gift was still on his hands, she frowned and stopped smiling.

"I'm really sorry, Lenalee..."

"It's okay, Allen. Last year was the same when I entrusted it to Lavi." answered the soft voice of the young exorcist woman. "Eventually... I had to give it to him and he accepted it unwillingly —one week later, I found the gift in the trash can—."

"Why do you even bother for him?" Allen asked approaching with interest to Lenalee, which was repairing the bun of the box.

"I know Kanda since I was eight years old do, you know?" the girl said smiling slightly. "Before my brother Komui came to the Order, Kanda was there. He is the first friend that I ever had."

"Hum ... I understand. Then you must to have a great fondness towards him." to be honest, Allen wasn't sure that Kanda could be called a 'good friend', him being like he was. But Lenalee was Lenalee, and knowing her pretty much, she could open the heart of lout as Yu Kanda.

"He was always very cold and mean ... but I knew that he was just lonely." Lenalee was demonstrating a face that was denoting some sort of worrying. "Though he always seemed to be annoyed by everything, he wasn't that bad. He helped me through a lot when I didn't have my brother nearby, and I'm grateful with Kanda for supporting me during those years."

"So..." Allen knew of that he could repent of his following question. "... do you want that me to try it again?"

"What?"

"To give him the present."

"I believe that's already not necessary. If Kanda has a reason for not wanting a birthday gift, then we will respect that." answered Lenalee taking the box in her arms, thinking that she would have to take it back to her brother and tell him what happened.

Link always was there, but most of times he was never interfering in Allen's social conversations with other people. It was troublesome enough on past times, but already he had got used to it after almost nine months of being monitored by him.

"So... Lenalee." he called again before she could move forward.

"What is it?"

"Do you know who's Alma?"

"... Alma? From where did you hear that name?" the exorcist asked, her face shifted strangely, as if she had listened to a joke that she didn't understand.

"Well ..." he had his doubts, but he was involving himself where he shouldn't. "you'll see: I found Kanda sleeping, and then he muttered that name while he slept. I thought that you'd know something."

"Hum..." seemed it to think a bit while her forefinger pressed upon her inferior lip. "I recall something similar that happened to me years ago. I once slept next to Kanda."

"Oh... Komui won't be pleased to hear that." said the youngster jokingly with a caustic smile.

"We were just children, Allen." responded the girl blushing slightly. "I remember having listened to him murmur in his dreams... I listened to him to murmur that one name when he was sleeping."

"What a good memory you have, Lenalee." Allen said crossing his arms, a rather exaggerated and infantile gesture.

"Not, it's that 'till now that I remembered it..." the girl corrected smiling. "I remember asking to Kanda whom he dreamed. He didn't say anything and then pushed me off of his bed."

"What a dick." Allen spat.

"Yeah, I know." agreed Lenalee. "But well ... since Kanda was coming from the Asian Branch of the Black Order, I suppose that the person that he called had to come from there. But from it, don't know any further."

"I see, then we should better stop it right there. It's not necessary to invade Kanda's privacy, huh?"

Lenalee only smiled, as always, and to Allen that one was pleasing all the way. She turned round a few seconds, but then she returned to see him with a strange air, seeming to be a bit worried.

"How have you've been, Allen?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well ... you've got hurt really bad back in your mission on Paris." she said indicating the scar hidden under Allen's clothes. They had already passed months from that time, but it was a great and painful scar provoked by nobody but himself.

"I'm fine, Lenalee. Thank you for worrying." the boy smiled, that he was sincere, because the pain had gone away completely. But the worry would never fade away.

"Take care." she dismissed with briefness before going away. Allen couldn't avoid Link's inconvenient look over him, as if a falcon was stalking him. He then knew that Link wouldn't say anything nice.

"That one scar alone is not fine, Walker." Link said as soon as Lenalee went out of the auditory scope.

"Link ... I'd prefer to don't speak about the topic this time, okay?"

Anything was better, preferred being kept in his barrier of ignorance, because too many things were happening.

The Fourteenth was the brother of his stepfather, Mana Walker. The memories were implanted within him at some moment of his life, and eventually he was going to turn into the Fourteenth Noah himself, also known as the Musician. Though his goals were basically the same ones, to annihilate the Millennium Earl, creative father of the demons Akuma and the emissary who was declaring the death of this world, it was impossible to trust the 14th.

Allen loved his stepfather, loved him enough to fall into dispear at the moment of his tragic death and to accept the 'help' of the Count of the Millennium. The tragedy, the soul and the machine were the ingredients necessary for the creation of an Akuma. Being deceived, Allen turned his father into Akuma, and after being cursed by him, the Anti Akuma woke up within his left arm in the most opportune moment, finishing with it's target.

'_Allen, I love you. Please, destroy me._' Those were the last words that the small Allen listened from his deceased father. But even now, he wasn't sure of the real meaning of those words.

The Fourteenth was Mana's brother. If he already knew that Allen was the one selected carrier of the memories of his brother; then did he really loved that poor orphan that had nothing in this world but that deformed Anti Akuma arm he was born with?

All those doubts were tormenting Allen's mind, but well then, he already had perfected the art of fooling the others with comforting smiles. But for how longer would he be capable of concealing the darkness of his soul from Lenalee and the others?

But more worrying than anything else: was the Fourteenth malignant or not? Already he knew that the 14th betrayed the Noah's Family and was seeking to destroy the Millennium Earl, enemy of the Innocence and the Black Order. But then, Allen was sure that the Fourteenth one wasn't good, not while remembering the words of Cross Marian. Much less after ' that incident ' happened in Paris.

Crown Clown was the last form of Allen's Innocence, an Anti Akuma whose function with form of sword was to exorcise and to cut all that was malignant –it is to say, Akumas and relatives of Noah–. 'It' happened a little while ago when he stabbed himself by the sword close to an Akuma. The sword injured his owner, very seriously. Allen had vague memories of how it happened, due to the extreme pain that invaded his body on those instants. He had the sensation of entering unto trance while having the feeling of ardor burning in his flesh.

The scar was there, crossing his chest downwards his abdomen. It never bled, but his human body had been marked by the evilness that he had not committed, the malevolence of the Fourteenth Noah. And if Allen was suffering for these sins, it had him real reasons to get more worried.

He looked at his reflection on one of the windows of the corridor, the shade he saw was of that smiling entity, wrapping his reflection increasingly in a shadow of supernatural dye. The phantasmagorical silhouette was extending increasingly his space on him, which made him difficult to see his own reflection.

Sometimes he kept asking to himself, analyzing it with a lot of care, why didn't Kanda murder him in that one moment given the chance?

* * *

June 7th

Due to the connection that had the Ark with the Headquarters and the Asian Branch, to come here when wanted was something possible now. It has been long since he saw for last time this place. Almost nine years to be precise, when Tiedoll made him his apprentice and finally he could claim that he woke up of a nightmare. Already nobody was monitoring this one section of the Asian Order, because anybody found again usefulness to this place, which only they were rubbles of a fatal mistake that there committed the human beings on having tried to play at being God.

The Sixth Institute of Asia, was to simple sight a destroyed and left laboratory, it was for many that had entered to the Order in the last years. But for Yu Kanda this one place had a different meaning. The place where he 'was born'.

He was walking in an indefinite darkness, accompanied only by the artificial light that his golem communicator was producing. Every step that was planning inside these ruins, was an echo that was making him return to the past. But why did he decide to come here all of sudden? Had been better to see first the elderly cook Zhu, to make him know that he would come to visit this place.

Already he didn't have clear the reason for which he came to this lugubrious place. The dust that was getting up with every movement he made didn't bother him at all, however he came to check just at a couple of rooms and then would clear off from here as if nothing happened.

He recalled his memory, checked a long corridor, observed a door that was about to fall. He recognized that door, still when the sign already fell off. Inside that room full of shades there were very strong memories. He forced the golem to aim the light to the interior. It was the embroider that he had hated the most during his entire life, which he learned to suppress away from his head for so many years.

It wasn't very broad, but the ceiling was spreading upside to several meters, and there was a window to the second floor, from where the scientists were in the habit to observe the results of the tests. In the center of this room there was a prop replete with cables with a small table of support, now it was empty. There was once on it a winged figure that he knew at some time as 'Innocence'.

He entered, his legs were not trembling, showed no emotions towards this place though he saw the dusted floor, with cables spread everywhere, and yes, also the blackened dry blood splattered on this very floor, which made him remember all those times he died right here. He blinked again, but the blood stains were gone.

He sighed, thought he listened to the echoes of his own screaming nine years behind. All these times in which he had cried out in agony when he was a child. Everything for not being able to synchronize with the stupid Innocence. The times in which all his body broke having been rejected by that proud and cruel entity.

True. That child called Alma passed exactly through the same thing.

He left the room rapidly, having forgotten completely the reason for which he came to this laboratory of frozen hell. He went to the following place about which he could think. The Womb Chamber. It had a great space, as a lounge, but several props of rock had fallen down hereabouts. But he could recognize a kind of altar that was placed at the bottom, but most of it was destroyed. It was supposed that there were containers there also, but they were already gone. Only the christian crosses had remained.

And in the floor, how to forget it, there the famous wells where the 'next apostles' once slept, that none managed to work out alive of there. Yu was the only one that was still alive among all those sleeping-beauty wretches. This place was as cold as always, but already there were no clouds of mist.

Though destroyed, Yu remembered many things of this one place, many important moments in his short and putrid infancy happened right here. His birth to begin with, when he met Alma, when he recognized for the first time 'that woman'... when he smiled for the first time. For a moment he thought he was listening the echoes of those infantile laughs among these ruins. Here it was when his first 'friend' did, and also it was here where he destroyed him.

He walked more to the center, the wells were empty within, the water dried off and there were no bodies in. They should have been emptied after the day of the massacre. Oh, that one horrible day ... the whole room was so full of red. Now already they had gathered all the corpses and cleaned the blood.

But he wasn't here to remember the massacre, slaughter house led by Alma, but he came to prove something to himself. Though already he wasn't sure of what thing he wanted to prove to his mind in spite of this place destroyed by time.

Those dreams that he had lately were not making him calm, his mind was remaining tense, disturbed for the strong images of gruesome murder that had marked forever his childhood. The blood that he spilt. He believed that his conscience wanted in spite of punishing him again with these horrible recollections, it wouldn't leave him alone until he could think about what he did in this place full of ghosts from the past.

Or perhaps, very much probably, it was Alma's memory what dragged him here. Couldn't understand it. He could hear that childish voice, it was heard inside his head, that idiot's infantile snicker; still he kept on listening to it, as if just now Alma was playing in this place, slipping ... and he was laughing so lively.

No, just now he was sure that he really listened to something. A rock movement, as if someone was walking between the rubbles of the desolate institute. As an reflex, he exposed his sword, Mugen's brilliant edge appeared towards his right, there was standing an entity that was not human, however was not an enemy.

"What are you doing here? Stop aiming me with that thing!"

"Fou." Kanda returned his katana inside its case, it was just the guardian spirit of the Asian Branch; she had the form of a young woman of curvilinear body, small stature and extremely revealing clothes. Her hair was pink as her eyes. To the first sight she was very attractive looking, but those who knew her a bit, knew that Fou had a temperament of thousand demons.

"What are you doing in this place?" exclaimed the ghost girl, her reaction was almost aggressive. Precisely because of it Kanda never felt little charm for that one spirit. In fact, he hated her. But though he'd love to break her in tiny pieces, he wouldn't achieve anything at it.

"Nothing important. What about you?" he said calmly, but obviously annoyed.

"Me?" the small presence exclaimed. Again she was overacting. "I was just walking, I have the freedom of going and coming wherever I please."

"Were you following me?" asked Kanda with a gloomy face.

"For what reason would I follow you?"

"I'm wondering."

"I wasn't following you..." spitted Fou angered. "and why did you come here in first place, Yu?"

Nobody but that stupid Bookman Lavi dared to call him this way so carelessly. Yu. With the pass of the years he began to detest that name that they gave to him.

"Already I said that it's nothing important. Doesn't concern you anyways." responded, indisposed to continue this chat with the guardian spirit, he knew that there was no sense on staying longer in this place, if she was meant to keep on fucking him.

He walked slowly out of the room, knew that it wasn't a good idea having come to visit this place, cause he didn't foreseen that he would meet Fou.

"You know? I come here some often."

"I don't care." answered while he was continued his gait, preferring to don't lengthen his meeting with Fou.

"Without dread of being wrong, I believe that you came thinking about Alma, right?"

He stopped right there, felt as if one bullet suddenly had struck him. So much time had passed since he last listened to someone else mention that child's name. Already he had forgotten how that name sounded like with the human speech.

Kanda didn't answer, he only kept on walking, ignoring to whatever Fou would else say.

"Since their bodies were destroyed, there's no grave to visit." her voice now was sadder, true, if it was Fou who sometimes was consoling to Alma when he once cried. But not just that, she was close towards the people who used to direct this laboratory. "but ... why have you come here after so many years, Yu?"

"Already I told you that it doesn't concern you. Don't bother me." answered with the same dryness used before.

* * *

June 10th

The structure of this section of the headquarters was beautiful undoubtedly, one might remain here to contemplate the large colored windows that took place in the ceiling. In this building were the rooms of all the exorcists and some scientists who were working for the Black Order. There were only six floors, and every room had the door opposite to the balustrade, so they all could behold from any floor the beautiful mosaic of the ground floor. Only a pretty detail that everyone could see for every morning while home.

"I'm worried about Allen." she sighed while her almond-shaped eyes were turning aside to the balustrade of stone of the second floor. A red-haired young man who had an eye patch on his right eye, she knew him as Lavi. He was a friend whom she considered to be very nearby, and knew that he would listen to her all the time needed, because he would support her with honesty. "Since he returned from Paris, he's been different... and in these last few days he has acted very strangely, seems to be frightened at something."

"I heard that he hurted himself with Crown Clown on Paris. It also makes me worried, Lenalee... they all know what it might mean." said Lavi with a tense tranquility.

"Nevertheless, Allen continues being Allen." the chinese girl answered returning her gaze to the young Bookman. "I want to believe that he will be able to oppose to the Fourteenth. I'm going to believe more."

"... I'm also going to believe. We'll have to support him a lot in these days, how about it?" he outlined a smile with intentions of encouraging Lenalee.

"Lenalee Lee, Bookman Junior." a voice interrupted, it would normally sound differently, but now Link had a worried tone, perhaps alarmed. He seemed to have run a lot and he was sweating a bit.

"What happened, Two-Spot?" asked Lavi, which always seemed to be relaxed. Then they noticed something strange. The inspector Link was alone, was not accompanying anybody in particular, Allen it was. This undoubtedly was strange.

"Walker. Where is Allen Walker?" he asked, almost as if he was raising an accusation against both exorcists. Already he was falling down in the histeria. "I've lost sight of him for ten minutes."

"Link, we haven't seen him in the whole day." Lenalee answered muddled up. "Did you searched for him well?"

"I need to find him as soon as possible. I must monitor him at all the time."

"Hm... maybe because of it he separated from you, don't you think?" said the Bookman jokingly, but only ended up gaining a tart look from the young inspector. "Oh, please, give a break to the poor guy; you keep on breathing on his neck the whole damn day."

"I cannot take so carelessly the fact that Walker escapes of my sight. Don't know what might he be doing while he's out of vigilance."

"You take very seriously your job, Two-Spot!"

"I am going to ask you to not call me that nickname, Bookman. Have the decency of referring to me by my name... Now, if 'm excused, I'm off to look for Walker again." very tense, he turned around infuriated.

"What paranoid. It's not as if someone would die if he leaves Allen alone for like fifteen minutes..."

"... I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" the sudden yell of a man was listened. The voice sounded so low that they didn't find possibility of identifying it to the instant. It resounded so loudly that Lenalee instinctively looked up, where from it came.

Lenalee opened the eyes amazed, her eyebrows were wrinkled, reaction that Lavi knew as 'fear'. To the following second a hard impact was heard of something against the flat of the ground floor.

"What the hell ...? What was ...?"

Rapidly they went to look out of the rail downwards the flat, surprised by the following chilling scene. A person had fallen down from some floor, but Lenalee didn't go to look to whom fell, but she looked up, the sixth floor, there was there a person whose face appeared on the balustrade, who unfortunately, she recognized. It was Yu Kanda.

To whom did Yu Kanda pushe from the sixth floor?

"Lenalee... Look, that is..." now Lavi's voice changed radically, trembling, demonstrating fear and shock on having looked at the person who was lying in the soil, the mantle of blood painting scarlet the mosaic of the ground floor. Lenalee looked terrified on having seen the familiar albino hair of the uniformed one that fell down from the sixth floor.

"Allen?" she didn't lose time, jumped off the rail, helped by the activation of her Dark Boots. She went to help the injured man, entering on extreme panic state on seeing that his head bleeding profusely, the expression in Allen Walker's face was frozen inside an emotion of fear. But he wasn't conscious. "ALLEN!"

Lavi cried out in despair for the help, so the doctors could hurry up down here, whoever. Still she didn't find a reason, didn't manage to understand how the hell her friend Allen managed to fall this way of a sixth floor. Lenalee was trying to call his companion's conscience, resting his head on her lap. With her fingertips she checked the fallen boy's neck, his pulse was a too weak.

Between the dozens of persons that were coming to the 'scene of the crime ', Finders, doctors, exorcists and scientists; nobody noticed when silently Yu Kanda left the place, his face filled of disturbance.

* * *

(1).-Emilia Galmar is a character who appears inside the arc of the Phantom G in the manga. Now Emilia is inside the Black Order, as personal educator of Timothy. Since she ran up with Kanda she thought that he was attractive. So the relationship didn't come out of nowhere... at least I think so.– ugh, what am I saying? This is purely Ooc! I did it just for screwing-up to the yaoi fans xD

**A/N: Yes, I know it. You will want to cut me with an freaking chainsaw and you'll be wondering why the fuck did I put Kanda together with Emilia instead of beginning already with an attraction between both protagonists? Just think a about it. DGM takes place at the end of the 19th century, and things like the homosexuality were not seen as something 'good' by certain religious organizations. If they it think through, Kanda's already a big boy and is a man, so he has certain 'needs', but even though he might gay or bisexual –which seems more likely– he wouldn't accept it just like that (oh, but yeah, though he's a frigging exorcist, I just thought it'd be nice if he had sex with an ardent French girl).**

**And Allen ... well, he lives and spends a lot of good time with Lenalee, but this doesn't mean that she and Allen should be a couple for this fanfic. Something that I cannot stand in certain fanfics is that Lenalee doesn't speak much with Allen, and they're already good friends; in the fics almost they make her non-existent, even stupid and useless. I think change it's good. This fanfic won't be like that, I'll make you know.**

**Edit: I corrected this chapters dialogues. Thanks Book Thief101 for commenting. (¡PONTE LISTA, HONEY HIJA DE PUTA!)**


	2. Thoughtless

**II. Thoughtless.**

June 7th

Today he woke up feeling stranger than any other day. On having got up from the soft pillow, he felt that whistle kind of sound inside his head, as if an eardrum had just bursted. He looked at the bed of inspector Howard, remained sleeping deeply. The boy felt that his head hurting, as if someone had fixed screws to it on both sides.

He looked at the only mirror, at the corner of the room, but everything seemed to be normal. He put his feet on the carpeted floor of his bedroom, which he was obliged to share with his supervisor, Link. It wouldn't hurt to take a glass of water while he was sleeping. There was a bureau of wood near Link's work desk, commonly there was a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses on there. And of course, inside the booths Allen had the habit of hiding delicacies when he felt the appetite.

Simply filled the glass a couple of times while he was observing Link to sleep pleasantly. It wasn't so troublesome to sleep in the same room with him, since he neither was snoring nor making any kind of noises during the night. Silent as a dead man, probably. But well, it didn't matter if he was sleeping or awake, his face always looked the the same, impassive and severe.

He took from the booth a bag of butter cookies, eating them up while waiting for Link to wake up. Already he'd been used to the idea of waiting for Link, and he already forgot that he still had spare moments when Link wasn't monitoring, but for what would he use those moments? What might he do when Link was not observing? Nothing. He wouldn't do anything.

Then he got tired of waiting.

"Hey, Link, hey..."

"What do you want, Walker? What time is it?"

"Like half past seven. I'm taking a shower."

"Okay. I'll catch you up later." he had to be very sleepy just now to speak so carelessly. Normally he would make him wait for his company. But well, if it took him more than ten minutes, Allen could expect that Link there escorting while he was washing his intimate parts.

In the mornings he was in the habit of taking a simple facade, of a skintight navy blue color shirt, and a simple black trousers of cotton, the feet-wear could vary from boots up to slippers –Komui chief made them fashionable in the Order–. Since the baths weren't far from the bedrooms, it was not a long walk to go even there, and with luck he wouldn't run into any agent of Crow who would look at him without the company of his supervisor.

The corridors normally were circulated by the personnel at all time. The scientists of this place, that rare times a week were going to fall asleep, one was wondering how their health would be if they were kept awake for too long. Even he knew that he couldn't stand any more than four days without sleeping. Maybe they all were occupied just now, because he didn't find anybody within the short distance towards the baths.

The baths were much less wide than that were in the old headquarters; they had a simpler design, with floors and walls of white and blue glazed tiles, without any other stain of different color. The design was too simple and hostile compared to the baths of the previous headquarters of the Order. The showers were hard and cold like the washbasins in front of the mirrors, so usually the choice that they all would take was of going away to the room of the thermal waters. Since it was separated from the rest of the area, it was more comfortable and the heat remained always there, and as the boilers they had put to work for little at seven o'clock in the morning, he knew that he was going to be the only one there. So he took off the clothes and entered to the area where the warm steam was coming.

It was a bit difficult to see where to walk in this place, one was traversing the risk of being slipped. But it didn't matter too much, he was coming here always. Not to bathe, but to relax a bit, at least for five minutes, then he could return to the showers to be cleaned well by soap, he could change his clothes and get going. Already he had got used to using the public bath, he could stand it, but still he preferred bathing alone, when he could have a few intimate moments with himself, thing that wasn't happening with Link's harassing presence.

Dispelling his tension and corporal pain with the warm water, he was feeling wonderful, specially when he was submerging his whole body down his neck, he closed his eyes throwing his head back; only existed him and the sedative sound of the waves of the water hitting with the walls of the warm pit. Until the time that he felt something strange. The sound of a foreign body submerging in this same pit, altering the movements of the water.

"Who is there?" he asked, his voice was not demonstrating any restlessness. Only was a daily question. Already he believed that it was too good to be true that he had the baths for him alone. He looked beyond what was covering the steam, so densely as cotton. Couldn't manage to see anything else than the waves of the water and with difficultly he could see underwater, it was too turbid beyond his own space personal. "Hello?"

There was no response, at least not verbal. The first thing that came to his mind was that Link decided to shake off his sleepiness and to follow him here. It didn't last at least two minutes of peace and loneliness.

It would be a better idea if he got going to the showers and finish up appropriately his personal cleaning, because Allen didn't see entertaining that Link was the only one with whom he was sharing the bathtub. It was inconvenient to be so near another naked man. Always it caused certain modesty. Not because he was broken of the habit to looking at the genitals of other men or something like that; it just happened that... he felt intimidated.

He got up and tried to get out of the great sink, he'd go for his belongings and return to the showers.

"Please make me know when you're coming after me, Link. Or at least when you also get into the sink. You know that it terrifies me, I told you." Allen spitted while he looked behind him at the shore of the water pit. It was going out to the surface, but that one wasn't Link. It was a head of black, long hair, which was revealing a couple of penetrating eyes that were looking at him contemptuously. He recognized those oriental features.

'_What the heck is he doing here this early?'_ the albino thought, as he answered to those eyes with a more aggressive stare. He could had even wished to face an Akuma in the baths, any person or thing, but Kanda was completely unwanted. He decided to give him the back and ignore it, taking advantage that he wasn't insulting him now; there he found in his way of the clothes of the exorcist uniform thrown carelessly on the ground, which made him presume that Kanda had entered here recently, just a little moment after he did.

"That idiotic Kanda... coming here so silent, as dead... why doesn't he ever say it when coming in?" he murmured to himself. He didn't notice the dampness that was under his foot and made him slip violently. He felt a sharp pain in his wrist when he stopped his fall, but couldn't avoid to complain in low voice.

"You slip yourself as a mentally handicapped." said that voice on the distance, Allen stood immediately on his feet, ashamed that the other man had noticed it.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, you Kanda idiot." answered without scruples towards whom was hidden in the steam.

He just came to the shower-bath area and took his stuff for the personal cleansing, the pulsing pain returned back to drill into his head. He complained again in low voice; it felt stronger, perforating his resistance with the ardor. It was even more intense, but he recovered the balance on having turned the first tap of the shower that he took. The sudden contact of freezing water made him react violently. But the pain disappeared so rapidly as it came to him.

Allen tried to forget it while he was allowed the cold water to accustom his body to the tact. This would help him be more awake, though it was really uncomfortable to feel every single line of water that fell so hardly on him. But he only seized his scourer and soap, then came back to his cleaning.

He was about to end with his hair, when again he noticed the presence of other one to come. Kanda seemed to ignore it completely; knew that it'd better be that way. By the way he took the shower most distanced from the one that Allen was occupying, he didn't think if it was for having modesty for seeing another naked man close by, rather Kanda preferred avoiding him all the time.

Something was troubling him, cause since that another exorcist entered to the place, he couldn't avoid to look at him for any moment. With all that long hair stuck to his body, Allen saw perfectly the strange tattoo black on his chest. He had been thinking about it since a while ago, but he knew, that lout would never answer to him the meaning of that one tattoo; it was a symbol –possibly Hindu–, and was surrounded by some kind of half-circle that was expanding into deformed lines that were going way to his left shoulder up to his neck and low part of his thorax. For some reason he thought it must be related to that particular skill that Kanda had to recover rapidly from each of his battle-wounds.

He was on the verge of saying something, but prefered to remain silent while watching him bathe from the other side of the collective showers. It wasn't a very brilliant idea to do it. Kanda noticed it and expressed his evident displeasure before it.

"At what the fuck you are looking at, Beansprout?" he asked, Allen almost thought that other one could have misinterpreted the way that he continued seeing the other man.

"Nothing."

"You are a pansy Beansprout." he babbled, sufficiently loud to be listened by Allen's ear. Really, did he believed that he would stand each one of the insults that he was declaring? Who does he think he is?

"What did you say, Kanda? Repeat it." he began to challenge, his muscles were tensed, getting so much angrier that he was feeling that his head was burning again.

"I said: 'You Are a Pansy Beansprout.' You keep on looking at my cock like an idiot." Kanda answered in his usual bitter felt of humor. This time Allen approached him, looking at those eyes with aggressiveness.

"You are the one to talk about."

"What are you insinuating?" Kanda showed a surprised and exaggerated gesture as response.

"I'm not the idiotic faggot who talks while sleeping..."

"What are you talking about?" the nuisance in his tone increasing, becoming much more menacing.

"'Alma, Alma, Alma' ... this way you are while sleeping; in whom you are thinking, Kanda, huh? Now who's the pansy here?"

He was behaving so stupidly, was playing with fire and it would burn him anytime. Allen knew that there were times that he'd just swallow his tongue, when he was spitting things as inappropriate as that he had just said.

As soon as he realized, his head and body crashed against the wall of blue tiles, a hand strong as the steel was pressing on his chest. The black and furious eyes were over him, then he felt a painful pressure going in heavily on his crotch, forcing to his face to go red. The reaction before that humiliating stimulation provoked a subdued groan, as well as the contact with humid skin in that specific intimate part of his body was producing involuntarily the hardening of his nipples. He thought that he was losing his air, more with the dampness of the showers, and the hand that without contemplation was pressing his chest and ribs, it was hard to breathe.

He shouldn't have provoked Kanda, to mention the name of somebody whom he never knew. With the force and brutality that Kanda was pressing his knee against the young man's groin, made him think that it was going to squash his virility. It was too painful, shameful, and was cornered like a prey belonging to a fierce predator. His face approached more and more to Allen's, until his mouth was close to the humid ear, then whispered cruel words:

"He is dead."

That ripple spiteful and full of distaste said everything. Allen had to repent of what he'd just said to the other exorcist. It forced with the young face with his hand to be closely together; Allen started to feel aside from aching, ashamed.

"I don't want that you approach me again, or I promise that I will kill you, understood, Beansprout?" after spitting those words, roughly he threw Allen to the floor, maybe one meter and a half far from him.

He was breathing again, but the pain was still there. He didn't know if he had to worry more for the pain in his head or on his crotch. Kanda, didn't know neither when nor how much it took, but before turning to look at him, he'd already gone away from the showers

Allen was feeling bad, not for the physical damage, but in his mind, he felt guilty. To speak so thoughtlessly about a person that the exorcist should have estimated, and whose loss should have left him so torn up inside. Shouldn't have insulted him with such an iniquity. Every person in this world could love a person as easily as they could lose it, he'd forgotten it; and Kanda mustn't be the exception.

He sat in front of the mirror, dried the rest of his hair, ruaging it through carelessly, letting the water to slip. He seized the white shirt of cotton and began to do the buttons. Asked himself how would Kanda managed to dress up so rapidly... but didn't doubt that because of his utter annoyance he'd gone away nude from the bath, only accompanied of a towel to cover his intimate parts.

He looked thoroughly at the long scar on his chest, the vertical one that seemed to be a mortal wound, but actually it was nothing any worse than the pain it inflicted. He impaled himself against the wall, with his own sword, and until today, couldn't take out of his head what happened in that moment.

The head still hurt. It was fluttering with such an acrimony, it began to stun him at the moment to take his clothes to dress. He felt unable to do his tie while the temples were narrowing him more and more.

'_... I want To go out... Let Me out...'_ the voice of a stranger was resounding like an echo inside his brain. He knew that it was treating his sanity. He looked at the reflection in the mirror of the wash basin. The lugubrious shade of the Fourteenth was embracing it with possession, as if it wanted to immobilize him. '_Let me out._'

"You can't... You won't." murmured while he was forcing to his conscience to fight against that one, his hand was trembling stridently, he pressed the fist of his left side, the arm of Innocence, blackened in a scaly and different form from the human appearance. It was too tight and if it continued, he'd sure feel his cranium to burst.

'_Of what are you so afraid of?_' These rumors of abnormal nature were submitting him to a state of ephemeral fear, to know that that voice him didn't belong to him, and it was an identity that was trying to dominate him, eating away his soul of little by little. '_If we are the same person why are you so afraid?'_

"I'm not afraid. You can shut your damned mouth. You and I ... we're not the same person." he whispered, fighting with vigor against that voice, melting his fears so he could continue to suppress it.

Nevertheless, the reflection in the mirror continued to bother him, taking away his concentration. His left hand moved alone and starred his knuckles against the glass, easily breaking it in dozens of shards, the echo of the racket turned out to be more violent than he thought it'd be. It cut his hand and bled a bit, but at least wasn't feeling any more ardor within his head, and the voice had gone away.

He listened at the door of the bathroom to be opened.

"Walker, I want to ask you a thing: why did you think that breaking the mirror was a good idea to relax?" recognized to the instant Link's tone, for the first time he was feeling a bit of relief on having felt his presence. The supervisor scarcely had come to the showers, behind him there were coming a other three Finders, who equally were coming to take a bath. Usually it was at this hour of the morning when they were all coming to the same thing.

"Oh, hi Link. Only I squashed a small cockroach." the young person answered simply, trying to sound convincing.

"Was it also necessary to break the mirror?"

"I overdid it a bit."

"I can see that. Now will you tell me the real reason for which you broke the mirror?"

"A god-awful big cockroach." even an idiot would feel nonconformist with an explanation as absurd as the one that Allen was giving. But well, at least already he was feeling a bit better.

* * *

First it was Fou, and now the Beansprout. Couldn't understand, why did it seemed that everybody wanted to remind him the stupid Alma? Fou could see through his behavior and he was too obvious –stupidly obvious– at the moment that he visited at fed up hours the abandoned Institute of Asia. But with Allen it was much more different. Just to think about him, his arteries wanted to burst of pure fury.

How dare he to speak about Alma in such an atrocious way? What gave him the right to speak thoughtlessly, without knowing anything at all? And since when he talked sleeping? He didn't remember... No, something similar happened with Lenalee when she asked him about his dreams, but that was years ago.

If the Beansprout knew of Alma, then it'd be his downfall; if some day Allen Walker started to pity him, he'd feel pathetic. He'd **be** pathetic.

"I say to you that you have the head in the clouds."

"... What?"

"What have I just said?"

"Something about cloud-head or something."

"You are a bit absent... about what you're thinking, Kanda?"

"I am thinking things."

Emilia would have liked that his 'boyfriend' said clearer things, that he should speak about his feelings more openly. But already she was used to the way of Yu Kanda, or at least that's what it seemed to be. He was a man of few words, basically the antisocial one.

"Come on, hug me." she was insisting, but always it ended up being her who stuck to him, because Kanda would never embrace her, at least not really at his will. Emilia only was seizing his arm and getting entangled with it in her own way. It didn't matter too much, Kanda had respect for the women, and was capable of enduring more awkward and troublesome things than what Emilia was doing.

To walk along these gardens was somewhat of routine, but it wasn't unpleasant. They didn't have to speak particularly about anything, only enjoy the walk, for shortly that was. Out of that religious fortress, he could breathe the fresh marine air accompanied of the relaxing sound of the waves of the sea that hit with the rocks. Everything was nice, but Emilia pulling him as a freaking donkey.

Sometimes he felt that she was too attached to him, and this relationship was being taken as something serious; that'd be a problem. Always so stuck to him, taking care that her space in between was closed under the shadow of her coquettish parasol. The damned parasol always had to do be set with her pretty dress... he also loathed the perfume that she was using. Too much alcohol.

"Do you know? I would like it that you could speak more... you're always hiding so much within your silence." she was nice, sweet, of a nice body and beautiful hair, couldn't deny it, but a jackass like him couldn't estimate all of that and more; Emilia's feelings for him had obviously grown with the time that they spent together... she demonstrated it in noticing those silent details in the character of Kanda. She was getting worried.

"Emilia." rarely he was referring to the young woman by her name; normally he would direct to her by 'Hey' or 'You'. He was trying to be sufficiently cold and formal in company of her. Whenever he said her name, the french girl's eyes shone. "I want you to answer something to me."

"What is it?" she always was attentive to every word.

"Do I talk in my sleep?" it was a shame it to be admitted, but he trusted in the eventual discretion of his pretty 'girlfriend'.

"Oh yes you do, sometimes." with simplicity she answered him, but this provoked that Kanda.

"And why didn't you say it to me?"

"I respect your privacy... Debit of being that you surprise that one person who you call." said with a smile nostálgica. "I also went through night's talking on sleep, my papa told me."

"Really?" he never thought about feeling interest for Emilia's common conversations, but it kept on puzzling him a bit, maybe this way he wouldn't feel so humiliated and he'd be more relieved to know that he wasn't the only one who had this 'sleep-talking' problem.

"Yes, it happened later that a wagon knocked down to my poor little dog. It was the prettiest poodle of the world and was called him 'Joli'. My papa said that I was calling it in my dreams... but I was nine years old back then."

'_Why the hell am I listening to Emilia to speaking about her stupid poodle? This is a bilge. I shouldn't have taken on the subject.'_

"I want to ask you something." the exorcist said, tried not to alter the way of his voice.

"Anything."

"Don't say any of this to anybody... I don't want the bunch of morons to start mocking me."

"Your secret is safe with me. I'm a tomb." what easy age to say it. But the tombs could be profaned of one way or another.

He didn't want to lengthen the time of the walk, they weren't doing anything, just fucking walking, and they already made all what they could for a conversation. Always it was exactly the same thing each and every of those times. Already it was coming the hour in which Emilia would go to ask for 'it'.

"Can we go together to your room tonight?" and there, the question.

"No."

"Why not?" she wasn't getting angered like the very first times, already she could tolerate the rejection.

"I need to think... alone."

"And what about tomorrow morning?"

"No."

"Are you occupied then?"

"... Alright, this afternoon." could not believe that he itself had said it; at least his tone of voice did not change. Yes, if Emilia didn't turned out to take too much time of his time, it didn't matter to him to spend a few moments of intimacy with her, though they weren't used to do it in the evening. It wouldn't harm to change the routine.

She was smiling, like a small Sun. Without asking she surrounded with her arms his neck, enclosing like she was some kind of feminine trap, feeling how her breasts were pressing against his chest. Emilia closed her long eyelashes for when she brought her tender lips over his.

"Have you a hurry with something, Kanda?" the French murmured, when she said his name, seemed to declare it with such a sensuality and sweetness. Her mouth touched it, kissed, entrusted that she wouldn't be rejected.

He never closed his eyes, didn't seen need to do it anyways. Couldn't understand why Emilia would do it. Why did he have to close his eyes to kiss? He wasn't feeling anything. Only the flavor of cranberries that she ate in the lunch, but beyond that, Kanda wasn't feeling anything especial when they kissed.

Even the passion was only a senseless effort, was nothing but an empty feeling. It was just pleasure and ordinary vanity, but it had a small effort just to feel 'good' for a few minutes. Everything to forget those things that were tormenting him from the very inside.

* * *

June 10th

She reached it almost running, obviously he had reasons to flee, though this type of things were not of the type of Kanda. Her hand seized almost with roughness before that was returning to drift apart, did not present any resistance, but equally he seemed to be absorbed of the situation.

"Why did you to do it, Kanda?" there exclaimed the exorcist Lenalee, demanding with her eyes for him to face her. "I know that you don't get along with Allen! But why did you had to go so far? Why did you push him?"

"If he had wanted, he could have stopped his fall! The damned bastard provoked what happened! He planned everything!"

"Kanda..."

"When I pushed him... something happened. Something wrong happened to him."

She saw something extraordinary in the eyes of the exorcist Kanda, she never imagined to see something else besides his angry and impatient eyes. There was Fear. Confusion. Just like she felt. Lenalee began to imagine the worst scenario at that moment. If she tried to conceal it, she always failed.

He had said something truth. Allen could have stopped the impact easily with the power granted by his Innocence. With Clown Belt he had stopped his body first. Why did he let himself fall so easily? It didn't seem to make any sense at all

"It... it's impossible..." didn't know what to feel. Her chest was contracting, and her heart shrinking. It was like to discover something that hadn't to, something that she regreted of knowing. "Kanda... perhaps Allen...? Don't tell me that he..." Lenalee was trembling.

"I'd like to know what fuck happened inside his head when he provoked me..." wasn't smiling, neither seemed sad. Lenalee would like to know what had Kanda seen, what really happened between him and Allen Walker. Something told her that she couldn't fullly trust in the words of his old friend.

"I cannot remain quiet for this, Kanda. You know that I also care about Allen... I'm sorry."

"Do as you want. It doesn't matter to me anyways..."

"Allen is in delicate state, although didn't suffer mortal fractures; but they say he'll be well in some weeks..."

"What a shame."

* * *

June 8th

He had heard it from Lenalee this morning, that the chiefs of the Science Section would go on a trip to North America, to an important conference about something... Allen didn't remember the important details. Only he understood that Reever and Johnny, and other important members, were going to go away soon of trip towards the American Branch of the Order. It was supposed that something slightly important they would do there.

So that Allen had a small mission in The United States almost two months ago, he had the opportunity to create an Ark portal in New Orleans, Louisiana. It wasn't possible to open a portal in places that he didn't know. Anyhow, he wasn't in The United States for any more than six days. It was a short mission and without too many relevancy. He didn't know where was the exact location of the American Branch, so he couldn't deduce to where his friends would travel.

He was interested how would Johnny Grill do, who had turned out to become one of his more nearby friends inside the Order in a short time; he was a small nervous man, and knew that the long trips weren't his favorites. For that one reason he accompanied Lenalee to the cafeteria, to encourage his friend. Lavi couldn't come since he was busy with the elder Bookman.

"So... it is supposedly placed somewhere on Arizona, I don't know the full details. It's very far from Louisiana. We'll have to take several transports to get there." he seemed nervous, too much. Much more than commonly. And for some reason Allen felt that it wasn't a good sign.

There was a couple of folders that the young scientist had disposal of, maybe it was essential information for the conference that he would assist to. Allen felt curious.

"Cheer up, Johnny. Surely everything will be just fine."

"I was already a couple of times in the american branch." Howard Link mentioned by chance, that Allen insisted him with his eyes that he should say something. Something good had come from their daily conviviality and his watchman Link was turning more into a companion. At least they began to harmonize that small annoying coexistence.

"And how is it?"

"It's not so different from here. You will not notice great difference..."

Among that Link was trying to talk to Johnny, Allen couldn't avoid that swarming feeling of curiosity. The blue folders were slightly showy, but his content was what puzzled the young exorcist. For some reason, he wanted to know what was there inside. Only it was infantile curiosity.

Nobody noticed, not even Johnny, when the folder was opened, only they were a heap of tidy words, which to the first sight weren't interesting at all. Even he felt it was boring. He was on the verge of closing it, until his skillful pupil caught a few words that him made tremble.

' _... Alma Karma. '_ ... could it be? Wrinkling the space between his eyebrows, Allen tried to hide the movement of his eyes, while he began to read the words that caught his interest, the only ones that he needed to know.

' _Alma is the one carrying the Womb of Cells Akuma for the creation of the Third Exorcists. He was implanted the piece of the Akuma Egg._ '

' _There were two Test Subjects. Alma and Yu. Project of The Second Exorcists. Artificial Apostles. Of the personnel of the Sixth Institute, 46 Massacred by Alma. Only survivor: the Tests subject, Yu._ '

' _Until Alma stopped regenerating, Yu tore him limb by limb._ ' There was a photograph in the following page. It was black and white, but already he had seen enough.

"... And because of that, try not to choose cheesecake in the cafeteria."

"Eww, I didn't know that it was possible to do that with the cheese. Thank you for the advice, uhm... Howard." the young scientist grated, getting accommodated nervously the spectacles.

"Good thing that Jeryy doesn't do that in the kitchen, right Allen?" Lenalee said, waking up of the situation his friend, who secretly covered again the folder, acting as he had never touched it.

"Huh? Oh, yes! Jeryy has the best... bakery of the world."

"Cakes. And regards to bakery... is the auditor Lvellie who can bake them as anyone can. Do not forget that, Walker.

"You know that I'd never taste anything from that man."

"You should."

"I think that I'd never do, Link." Lenalee answered, the edginess was obvious suddenly in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Johnny, but I have to retire for a minute. Immediately I'll return to you guys."

He had to go to the restrooms, with it Allen felt chased by the vigilance of the inspector Link. At least he wanted to be alone inside a cubicle of the toilet.

On having shut himself in and to sit down on the toilet's lid, his hands covered his eyes. He couldn't believe it.

He was crying.

Wasn't crying for Yu, he'd never do. Would never dare to feel pity for such an idiot. If Allen was spilling tears, it was for that boy called 'Alma Karma'.

Kanda said that he was dead, but the documents that Johnny had neglected of his watch were revealing that Alma wasn't just alive, but it was the root of the creation of the Third Exorcists. That the akuma egg was implanted within him, and he was only an object used by the Order for its purposes.

'_... Yu tore him limb by limb._' Couldn't extract out of his mind the horrible picture, a dirty room, covered with dark liquid and broken corpses with laboratory coats. Yet he was feeling that there were more things he needed to know. Everything regard the relationship that Alma and Yu once had.

And first and foremost: what were the Second Exorcists?

"Walker, already you know what's the toilet for, right?"

"I know, Link. Can you just give me a bit of privacy?"

"You know that it's impossible." yes, unfortunately he knew. And it was a pain, that in the only place where he could think all alone was a lavatory.

The only thing he could think right now was to make Kanda know, but how?... It'd sure cut him into pieces if he was given of the chance. But Kanda didn't know that Alma was alive, even though he knew that Kanda himself torn him by pieces. Nonetheless, how could Alma possibly survive after going through all that?

When he came out of the bath, he was reproached by his supervisor, him believing that to go to the restroom only was an excuse to stop being monitored by him. It wasn't like that, nevertheless it didn't seem to be a bad idea.

They returned briefly to the cafeteria, where Lenalee continued speaking with Johnny, who seemed to be a bit more contented. Maybe Link's absence helped, since he could turn out to be such an intimidating character occasionally.

"... Thanks, Lenalee, I think that I'll be able to do it." Johnny was barely smiling, couldn't avoid to feel worried, something kept on bugging him. Allen managed to deduce what was it. Johnny could had also read the documents, and surely Reever did as well. Komui could also be part of it. How many more had the knowledge of this dark secret?

"You'll be fine, Johnny. You're a strong guy." Allen took the shoulder of his friend and directed a confidence smile for him, but actually he was sad. They were sharing the knowledge of a terrible truth. And neither Lenalee nor Link knew of this.

"Thanks, Allen."

After some hours, the scientists of the headquarters had left to the portal of New Orleans.

* * *

June 10th

He wasn't feeling like getting up today. His body was weighing and felt depletion without reason. It wasn't Emilia, the training either. Mentally he was feeling tired. Only he had looked from his pillow at the small table with the Lotus Hourglass. He was looking fixedly at the flower across the crystal, because it was the only flower that he saw and knew it was real. Others that were there, around it, were only _an illusion_.

They had begun on his childhood, after Alma's death. After years that passed by, after so many deaths, and the sins he committed, now there were already more of those flowers, more than he could count. He'd just ignore them by closing his eyes, or only centering in what was really in front of his face.

It was nine o'clock of the morning, already all the losers would be having breakfast today... what was it? It seemed that today Jeryy was illuminated by the Mexican food, and these days especially, the cafeteria was filled as a fair. He detested these days, for which he was going to eat up when the majority of the idiots had gone away; he had to insist over nine times to the Head of Chefs that he didn't want to eat enchiladas. Only he liked the soba, tempura and that was it. None of that garbage that the people were deigning to calling 'food'.

But he wasn't going to bear it any more. Enclosed in this room for long time began to make him restless, suffocated among his own dust surrounded with the imaginary flowers... at least he'd go out for training an hour or two. It might help him vent of this fucking neurosis.

He got up off his bed and seized the most light clothes, the set of shirt without sleeves and cotton trousers with boots. He wouldn't bother in spite of seizing the belt, he wanted to breathe more freely. And without forgetting for a second, he hid Mugen under his bed, which was protecting her like a treasure. If he didn't plan on using it, he'd guard it appropriately.

Since the incident with the Beansprout, Kanda never forgot to shut in with padlock in his room, repeating the procedure everytime he was going out. The key, he kept it hidden inside the sole of his right boot. To anticipate new 'invasions'.

His room was in the sixth floor of the tower, he liked it thus, because it had the least noisy people living in his floor: Lenalee, Miranda, Marie... Tiedoll could be an exception, but it couldn't be better. Much better than the second floor with Timothy Hearst... Allen Walker...

He was heading to the stairs, but at least before a meter of approaching, the white haired boy appeared. It seemed that he went up the stairs running. Couldn't avoid show his most hostile look when they crossed paths. But it seemed that his eyes were only looking at him.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Kanda ... I'm sorry."

"I'm not accepting your excuses, Beansprout faggot." definitively would strike him with a fist of steel if he didn't step aside. "Get lost, you hinder me."

"No, Kanda, wait!" he seized without permission his arm, Kanda didn't saw that coming, and only he began to think about returning to his room for Mugen and of expiring with his idea of impaling the youngster with the sword. "I ... I want to speak with you. It's important. It's about Alma."

Perhaps the idiot didn't know when to stop? How deeper did he wanted to excavate? Without thinking, Kanda spat the face, a vulgar expression of scorn. Violently he got rid of the contact, separating that hand from his shoulder. Allen didn't react as expected, only limited himself to clean off the horrible gob on his face and without breaking his gaze from him.

"Stop poking in my past. Don't get your nose where it doesn't concern you."

"Most of everything... I want to say that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Kanda. I was an idiot for saying all those things."

"Tell me somethig I don't know already." Kanda ran through with hatred. "Now, off my way."

"I know what happened. You were in a situation where you were obliged to kill... but you don't have the fault. I know how you feel!"

"Don't come any closer..." Kanda moved back, very out of his own persona and nature, answering to a different instinct that he didn't want to recognize. Just wanted to get away from Allen, as soon as possible. From where did he get that information? Why he was he saying all those things? His head began hurting.

"I know that you are carrying with that weight. I know what you feel; but I had to come and make you know that Alma is not dead as you thought."

What was he trying to win with all this shitty theatre? He moved back more until his back touched the stone balustrade, for the first time he was feeling cornered by someone else. And the most humiliating thing was the fact that he was feeling cornered by the Beansprout.

"That's enough..."

"He's still alive, and he's in the American Branch. Don't really know what happened with Alma, but it seems like..."

"Get away from me! Now!"

"But, Kanda..."

"I swear, damned son of a bitch, if you say again Alma's name, I'm gonna kill you." only he was barking, his face sweating, feeling a terrible dizziness invading his body, making him support his hand on the baluster. "I swear that I'm going to do it without any hesitation ... Don't get any closer!" he wasn't going to obey him no matter the dark threats.

"Listen to me, please!" really he seemed to be desperate. He was taking it very seriously, and the more nearby he was to Kanda, the more he was up to ripping the boy's face out in one movement. He kept approaching. "Your friend's still in this world and I don't have any idea of what happened between you, but... if you allow me, I can help!

He was silenced, for the first time in a long time, he felt stupefied by words alone, his mind trying to digest what he had just listened, fighting against his reasoning to find inside himself if Allen Walker was being sincere.

He lied, the dirty treacherous rat lied.

He was mocking, was pitying, was destroying. He was insulting him like nobody had ever done before. He was deserved to be punished. It had to be punished atrociously.

"Kanda?" yes, he remained kept silent by a long moment, perhaps thinking that he succeeded on him. Poor Idiot. Didn't have idea that the plan in mind was implying his immolation. He was extending his hand, with intentions of touching, maybe for comfort. The poor imbecile.

Kanda's hands flew to a speed that the albino couldn't perceive in time. They had imprisoned the neck of the boy with a furious force. Didn't lose time and threw him against the balustrade, where only his lower part of the back supported him in balance of not falling down from the sixth floor.

"Alright, that's so it. You won't mock me anymore. Understand?" spitted, pierced on him furious while his hands were trying not to squash the fragile neck with excessive force. The gray eyes of white eyelashes were trembling in fear, the boy was completely speechless, treating with his own hands run to slacken Kanda's mortal grasp. "Want you out of me, far from me."

"But Kanda... I'm telling you the truth." he said with hung voice, his throat couldn't resist that terrible pressure, and as half of his body was suspended on a dangerous height, and sure had reasons to feel nervous.

"I don't want that you to annoy me ever again. Get out of my life." Kanda said with creaking teeth, as he continued pressing Allen on the shore of the balustrade. He didn't think of letting him fall down, only he wanted to make him suffer what was necessary. Wanted to distress him the best he could.

The boy indeed was straining for not suffocating and continuing to speak to Kanda, and the more he tried to speak, more painful it was the punishment and the force that the other exorcist was using. Why wouldn't he give up once for all? Why was he pledging in continuing with this theatre?

Then suddenly Allen came loose, to the instant Allen's look stopped trembling and changed of look of his face. First it seemed to be indifferent, but then transformed in a slow and long smile that Kanda couldn't recognize on that face. The grasp of his hands became a weak on having remembered from where he'd seen these eyes before.

It had happened in Paris, when they were fighting against the Level 4 Akuma inside the orphanage where Emilia used to work. Already he saw that dark face there, just when Allen Walker had impaled himself with the Akuma against the wall. Couldn't be wrong, if already he had seen it there. Meanwhile, he didn't stop holding his neck.

"Hello again." said the squashed voice, there was a strange tone inside him, as if it belonged to a completely different person. "Do you want to kill me?"

'_What the hell...?_'

The right hand of the young man touched almost gentility Kanda's cheek. The thumb turned aside towards his mouth, with tense tenderness he caressed his lips.

"Tell me, do you really want to kill me?" he asked again with a soft voice, and the grasp of Kanda's hands had become almost subtle. He paralyzed. He was conscious of _whom _he had in front his eyes. And for the first time in his life, he didn't quite know what to do. The bastard was so calm while touching with his thumb that mouth.

The young possessed man pressed with his thumb against the thin lips of the other man, without entering his mouth. He was mocking, laughing at the fear that the asian shown, and was gliding to do something while taking advantage of that state of weakness.

"... Fourteenth..." Kanda murmured yet with that finger on his mouth. He removed his hands of Allen's neck without stopping holding the garments, the shirt that he had to support in order that the albino should not plummet. It was contemplated with that new form, that one by macabre aura that was surrounding it, that aura of Noah.

"Oh... did I scare you, Yu Kanda?" he asked inclining to side of the head, the bastard who was inhabiting inside Allen Walker's weakening will. It was going to touch his cheek again with one of his hands.

Brutally, Yu separated the hostile hand of the bastard and directed a killer look for him. As child who touches for accident the hot iron of a stove, Kanda gave up the piece of Allen's clothes, making him lose the balance. Kanda entered an unknown territory of his emotions, the powerful hysterical blind rage, shared with a completely irrational panic.

"... I told you..." murmured contemptuously. "... I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

The scream was so strong that it echoed in the whole building, for sure. Forthwith, he pushed Allen's chest, leaving him to fall down to the floor. It didn't seem surprised nor annoyed either. He was smiling, one darkening cruel smile.

That one wasn't a pleasing smile.

He looked out of the balustrade to see how would the fucker manage to save himself from such a nasty fall. It must have been planned.

But he listened to the impact, a horrible sharp sound that made to him wrinkle his eyebrows backwards while he jerked. Allen was lying on the soil, seemed like his head broke with the impact, the blood began to spread as water. It woven bloody mortal carpet on the mosaic of the ground floor, and Lenalee along with Lavi were coming to the aid of their dear friend.

He'd let him to fall down.

* * *

**A/N: Epic Shower Scene is Epic. :B**

IKWYS: Sorry for the long delay. Me and Honey were doing our best to translate. While I'm still advancing the spanish version (which, btw, still has some mistakes I must correct). I'm feeling bad for letting my beta-bitch do most of the translation, cause my english sucks worse and worse. Besides other works... but I promise the next chapter won't take longer than this one.

Honey: I just hope this chapter gets many reviews, cause the slut is making me work like crazy (and, Oh I love it~) and it'd break my soul. Anyways, Pink Nymph is awesome. Her fanfic is totally worth the shit. Oh, god, I need a life... However, if my Pinky doesn't get her ass to work, then I'm not working either. That's how things are.

We both thank you for your time! Reviews are highly appreciated.


	3. Do You Remember Me?

**III. Do You Remember Me?**

June 10th

For the last two days, he'd been pondering it deeply and painfully. No matter how much he found Yu Kanda displeasing, he felt that it was in his hands to go and tell him the truth; because he found all the signs to be so clear, but simultaneously blurry and crooked.

He had been a witness of the short moment when Kanda declared the name of the longed and sad memory that he hid inside his chest, couldn't be mistaken to think that Kanda was carrying with the fault and remorse for 'killing' Alma. But if the documents that he read out of the corner of the eye weren't lying and Alma was still alive, Allen felt the 'obligation' to tell the truth to his fellow exorcist. He wouldn't feel at peace until finishing it up.

But apart from having to fight with that destructive secret, Allen also was carrying with the migraine that was regretting day with day his mental health and his strength to avoid the arrival of the Fourteenth Noah. Already it was difficult to keep himself cool, and in addition Lenalee began to realize it. When she looked at her eyes yesterday, she noticed that her friend had the knowledge of which something terrible. Lenalee was the type of women to whom it wasn't possible to lie with ease, because they could see through you.

He didn't have the courage to look for him; because of the fear of facing him. Without forgetting that Link kept on monitoring him the twenty-four hours a day, following him like a shade. Sure that he had to know something about Alma Karma's project since he was acquainted by the Third Exorcists who newly entered to the Order. And probably he'd be wrong.

He had to escape of one way or another, at the cost that he could meet Kanda and make him know of this important matter. Kanda had right to know that Alma was alive, and what is what they were doing to him. Beyond that, he couldn't meddle any more in his private matters.

He needed find the first opportunity to slip past of Link's supervision and meet as prompt as possible with Kanda. Yet it was morning and he had lots of time, supposed, if he wasn't arising suddenly on a mission where he was needed. He preferred getting on with it before something unforeseen could happen.

He thought it through during his way towards the dining room, for the breakfast of today... yes, his favorite time of the day, as many. Today they were serving Mexican food, and normally the rows were a mess. Clearly Link hated this type of conduct, but little he could do to stop Allen Walker's hunger impulses.

But, for much that Allen didn't want to lose the Mexican breakfast, already his plan of searching for Kanda had already begun. The freaking plan. He was going to commit stupid for sure, but he had to take the risk. For the sake of an imbecile and a complete stranger.

He got his way among the multitude of anxious Finders and scientists who were seeking to arrange first their breakfast. Link couldn't detain the gluttonous youngster, and without worrying too much he lost sight of him for being surrounded with so many hungry people. Walker's unexpected plan ended up starting well.

Almost he ended up crawling under the feet of the whole crowd, he managed to go unnoticed, his eyes fixed on Link, whose arms were crossed while looking at the accumulated people yelling and laughing before the attention that Jeryy gave them. Allen continued going his way carefully, and dissimulated as much as he could finally outing from the exit of the cafeteria. Successfully, the german watchman didn't even notice it.

Now, only he needed to find Kanda, say what he had to say and maybe pray for the first time to God for himself to don't end up smashed up from a fit of fury. He hurried, trying to meet someone who could at least locate the exorcist who was searching.

The man he encountered was big, bit dark and muscular, an appearance that was little intimidating, but Allen knew him for his calmness and sobriety. Apart that together with Kanda, he was one of the disciples of Tiedoll. Though Noise Marie was blind, thanks to his Innocence, Noel Organon, he had an abnormally sensitive hearing, and could detect a person by just listening to its heartbeats.

"Allen, how odd of you to be without your supervisor. What's your hurry?" obviously he'd detected the agitation of his pulse when he was running.

"I'm sorry, Marie. I am looking for Kanda... it's something important."

"Judging by your tone, you don't seem to want to fight with him, but you feel a little fearful. That's new..."

"Please, Marie. I need to find him. Do you know where is he?" the boy asked, looking like more hurried of what really he wanted to feign. He believed that he worked out overacted for him. Marie thought it for a few seconds, but then realized that he was trying to search with his listening skills.

"... Just now he's going out of his bedroom." the huge one said, although didn't seem to be completely precise. If Allen recalled well, Marie scarcely had recovered of the eardrum that broke in that one mission in Paris. He lost also two fingers of his hand on that moment. "Why do you look for him? Thought you guys didn't get along."

"We don't. But this is an important matter..." Allen thought it a bit and looked a few seconds at the big exorcist. "Marie... before anything, I wanted to ask you something."

"Tell me."

"You knew something about Alma?" the face of the major exorcist changed suddenly. He knew something.

"... I'm sorry, I can't tell you." he was not even sure of his own words. "Perhaps is it what you want to speak with Kanda?" Allen swallowed saliva, he didn't like the expression that Marie had on his face, cold and gloomy. "Take care of what you do, Allen."

"I know... Kanda is an idiot and I might get myself thrown from a precipice if the chance was given to him." Allen said smiling heavily. Marie did not find the joke funny at all. "Anyways, thanks a lot, Marie." said on having shook his hand to break the ice between them, Noise didn't even seem to care for that small sample of comity. It was strange to shake hands with Marie, two fingers of his right hand were amputated.

"I would insist that you shouldn't come out with that topic with Kanda, but well... I suppose that I can't stop you, since you are that stubborn and foolish." that sounded as a warning. But obviously he was dismayed by Allen. He sure had his motives for being like that. If Allen had a better reasoning, maybe he would consider Marie's words.

"See you later." briefly he said goodbye and gave him the back to go to the bedrooms.

"Try to consider what I told you, Allen. I'm serious."

"Thank you." said loudly before moving along. He didn't have idea of how much time would Link be observing into the messy crowd of the cafeteria. If he didn't want to be caught by the inspector, he had to hurry up.

He couldn't delay himself with cordial regards during his hasty trek for the corridors, the fewer the people who saw him, the better. He ran hiding his face with the black hood of his sack, the best idea. Avoided the more that he could the agents of Crow, those watchmen walking through the headquarters, though someone who was running with such a hurry could hardly not be suspicious-looking.

They began, the headaches again. His walking became clumsy and the speed slackened. It was still morning and already it began to bother him. His temples were fluttering furiously while that unbearable heat began consuming as a bonfire. He was feeling as if hands inside his chest were trying to tear him out.

No. Not now; he could never let it go out today, not in these moments and ever. He wouldn't let the Fourteenth to do his will now and forever. He resisted. He thought about Kanda. He thought about Alma. He had to get himself to where his mind was pointing, not to yield the control of this body to that Fourteenth Noah. He had fight.

Walked more apace, centering more in Kanda's situation be solved. No. It wasn't going to 'solve' anything really just to pass the 'good news' to the exorcist Yu. But in these moments he had the tact to say it to him in the least harsh way possible. Well, it was about Kanda after all.

He went up the stairs and occasionally stumbled due the excessive rush he took, almost he slipped when he saw from the distance Lenalee and Lavi speaking on the second floor. Up and upper until coming to the highest point. Maybe he'd find him in time before he left to the training area.

Before expected, they were facing each other.

"What the fuck do you want?"

The head was hurting again. Every second with more force on the verge of clouding his sight with every word that he was exchanging with Kanda. His concentration, nevertheless, couldn't vanish there. He still spoke to him what he knew about Alma to Kanda's blatantly will of reject it.

"Get away from me! Now!"

"But, Kanda..."

"I you swear, damned son of a bitch, if you say again Alma's name, I'm gonna kill you. I swear that I'm going to do it without any hesitation... Don't get any closer!"

He wanted to think that he could convince him, that by the first time Kanda would open his heart and allow that to enter him. But it was more probable that anytime he's lose his consciousness due the pressure that was executing inside his head. Soon all his worries were focused more to the hands that had surrounded fiercely his neck. His throat was being squashed and the air only was heavier and too painful to support the concentration in his own words.

The air was all out of him and suddenly felt sleepy.

'_Idiot, Can't you ever do something right?_' The voice returned, vibrating in fear while losing the fight to remain awake. And Kanda hanging him wasn't helping him much to be kept in this reality.

"But Kanda... I'm telling you the truth..." were the last words to that he listened from his own mouth before his conscience went out as the weak fire of a candle.

After it, everything became dark. Everything hurt.

* * *

June 11th

Didn't show any resistance as he was called by Komui, while surrounded by those awful agents of Crow. Those rumours spread quickly through the Order like a flu, that the exorcist Yu Kanda pushed exorcist Allen Walker from the sixth floor. The reasons, however, so far remained unknown to the world. But evidence existed, there were visual records by one of the communicator golems that the Black Order had under its disposal, and though the golem was nearby the two exorcists, the sound quality was low. Only Kanda's hysterical yell could be heard before he let Allen fall from the balustrade.

However, the image was clearly showing the scene, how Kanda threw hatefully the younger exorcist. Nobody else could be blamed.

Komui was looking sternly to exorcist Kanda, his eyes were impossible to read because of the light reflected over his half rim glasses. But Kanda already knew what kind of look would he be wearing.

Talking in privet was now almost impossible thanks to that group of guards sent by Central, Crow, so the Chief felt a little suffocated... but, of course, couldn't be compared to what Kanda might be feeling, since, to where Komui was allowed to know, he hadn't many joyful experiences with those guys.

Komui Lee, as the Head Chief of the Black Order, his obligation was to know each of his exorcists. It's been seven years from now since he met Yu Kanda, and since then, hadn't ever met an story as horrible and dark as what held the origins from that kid. The very same kid who supported his beloved Lenalee for two years before his arrival. So from then and there, Komui owed Kanda this favour, therefore he supported the youngster all the way through, accepting him almost as close as his own brother.

But anyways, this didn't mean that Kanda could escape from every problem. He had to face the situation as any other should.

"So, you just pushed Allen, believing that he'd stop himself from falling."

"I've been telling you for four times already, Komui. Do I have to repeat it on chinese for you or what?"

"Need you to tell me what happened before you threw him."

"He made me mad."

"Mad enough to strangle him?"

"You know I could had done worse."

"I know you enough to know that you wouldn't go that far. Besides, Allen isn't half annoying as Lavi is. Will you tell me what did Allen say to anger you?"

"Komui, you know that beansprout is a problem."

"You are not answering my question, Kanda. The record doesn't lie to us."

"My patience has certain limits with idiots like him. Were you expecting me to swallow all of his bullshit?"

"I need to know what you guys discussed back there."

"None of your business."

"... Kanda. You know that Lvellie is right now on the American Branch. He won't touch you."

Yes, again, remembering the American Branch only made him remember that harpy Lenny Epstein was the current Chief of that one Branch... also remembered with utter disgust how Allen Walker mentioned the American Branch along with Alma's name. The exorcist stared crudely at Lee and showed a joyless smirk. He felt about saying something he didn't wanted to, but rapidly cleared it away from his throat. He thought with more clarity.

"He said despicable things about Alma. I couldn't stand to do nothing, so I threatened him. He refused to stop fucking me, so I pushed him away."

Komui raised his eyebrows, went pale with just hearing that one name all of sudden. Maybe thousands of questions entered the Chief's head when Kanda mentioned that name. He read it from the related archives with the Second Exorcists Project and the huge tragedy that took place on Asia's Sixth Institute. Alma was the first test subject, and Yu Kanda was forced to 'murder' him. But beyond that, Komui preferred to don't involve any further. It was a secret that he had to keep for the sake of the exorcist's mental health.

Kanda was already engrossed inside his personal hell, and didn't wanted to drag him evern deeper to that endless dark.

"What...? How did Allen...?"

"He heard me sleep-talking. End of story."

"Alright, Kanda. But keep on mind that from now and on the Crow will have to keep an eye on you due your aggressive behavior. Feel fortunate that Auditor Lvellie isn't here. You'd get a punishment for this."

Yes, Komui was right, since Malcolm C. Lvellie never had such a happy bond with the Black Order and its workers. There wasn't a many who didn't hate or fear this man sent from Central. All the Lvellie family was hated for what they were.

"You'll be heading right now to the Asian Branch, Kanda.I just received the message that Zhu Mei Chan wants to talk to you."

"Why would that old hag want me there?"

"I haven't got the full details. But you must leave immediately. Don't forget they're keeping an eye on you."

"Like I give a damn, Komui." spitted the arrogant exorcist before parting. At the door's exit, as expected, a few agents of Crow were really nearby of him. With a darkening gaze, he warned wordlessly to the masked men to keep their distance from him otherwise they wishes to die young.

From now and on it'd be lot more annoying to hang out with these guys following him, as they were shadows.

* * *

June 13th

She came here often everyday, just to stay close while he was peacefully sleeping on the recovering bed. Once in a while, the nurse would come to pity the girl's concern and allow her to extend her visiting time for five more minutes. Of course, Link was bothered as much as it, while he'd refuse to get away from his 'work' even when the visiting hours were to end.

And Timcanpy, its presence sometimes was the equivalent of a ghost, being so small and silent, and Lenalee wouldn't notice when the little golem sat on her head. Little Tim could hardly be away from his owner Allen.

The nursery was usually a very busy place all times, but lately wasn't as full as it used to be at times on the year. The most frequent occupiers of the nursery beds were the Finders, whose work required to take the most of risks than any other exorcists would do. So many of them die here.

Lavi started to whine at her for the long time she spent on the infirmary, cause instead of helping –without being ofensive– she was just getting on the way of all medic personnel. Allen would get better in a matter of time, the only thing he needed was to rest in bed without disturb. However, she couldn't be calmed unless she kept her eyes on him, but at the same time, couldn't stop being worried for him. Maybe was some sort of masochist feeling she had whenever she wanted to stay close to this man who make her anguished.

Allen rested in silence, his eyelids remained shut. His head was heavily bandaged and his neck wore a tight cervical collar, it seemed like he could suffocate, but the truth was that he was fine. He seemed so tranquil compared to that very instant when he fell to the floor. But even with that soft expression of peace, Lenalee couldn't get outta her head what Kanda said once he got caught by her.

Allen could had stop his accident, and if concious he was on those moments, the Clown Belt would had saved him after being pushed by Kanda. Lenalee wanted to find another explaination to it. Wanted it to be just a silly mistake, it to be anything... but the Fourteenth Noah.

She was scared of thinking about it.

Then she saw Noise Marie entering the nursery, just in time when Link retired momentarily to go to the lavatory. It was quite common that Marie came to visit the ill and hurt since had a better ease to socialize with people than any other of the disciples of Tiedoll. Lenalee saluted as always while the big Marie took a sit next to Walker's bed.

"How's Allen?"

"Hasn't awaken yet." answered the girl with her crystalline sad tone.

"This idiotic boy, how guilty he makes me feel... by ending up this way."

"Why is that, Marie?"

"... Had the chance to stop Allen and I let him go. Perhaps if I stopped him back there, neither him or Kanda would have gotten hurt."

Marie seemed to know what could had happened. But he mentioned Kanda got hurt as well; what he meant?

"Do you know what did Allen say to Kanda back then?"

"I do have one vague idea. But I swore Kanda that none of us would talk about this to anyone... Somehow Allen found out. I'll have to talk to him seriously once he wakes up."

"Do what you think is best, Marie." smiled heavily the exorcist Lee while leaning her head to side. "But... can't I know what it is?"

"I'm sorry, Lenalee." replied the blind one, too sober and too awake to let himself get carried away by those small charms that Lenalee led. "I'd rather to keep my silence to you. I hope you don't mind."

"... It's alright. I understand." Lenalee, however, she wished to know what his partner was hiding. But her unbearable concern towards certain unknown matters made her look nosy, and of that she was very conscious.

"I want to talk with Allen when he gets back to his senses... there's something I need to get straight with him."

"He had touched some taboo matter for Kanda, hadn't he? That must have made him really upset."

"Exactly. And for your sake, Lenalee, you'd better to don't get way too deep as Allen did; although it's for sure that Kanda won't do anything to you, the best thing is to leave him alone about that." Marie was serious, the girl could tell. As he knew Kanda for longer time than she did, then the bonds he had with him were really strong. She should trust that Marie knew Kanda better than anyone.

"Well, I'd better to leave now, normally at this hour I start helping on the Science Department." said she as she got up from her chair. "I'll see you later, Marie."

"Excuse me, Lenalee." interrupted all of sudden. "Can I bother you with a cup of coffee as well?"

"I'll get back right now." simply answered, since she couldn't say 'no' to this kind of favors. It was already some kind of habit.

"Thank you."

* * *

June 14th

He really took his time on opening his eyes again, cause his body was accustomed to this sleepy sensation of doing nothing. He noticed a couple of things foremost of all: First; Link was there keeping an eye on him. Second; he was injured in the infirmary. At the moment, he couldn't tell how he got himself here. As far as he knew, he didn't come back wounded from a mission recently. He touched the back of his head, his skull hurt. And he was wearing a neck brace, which kept him from moving freely.

"Glad you finally wake up, Walker." said Link, didn't seem to be especially shaken, but monotonous and slightly annoyed. "There's some questions I need you to answer."

"Great." answered the satirical boy, his headache didn't even lessen. "Because I also have some questions, like: what the hell am I doing here?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have no idea of how... did this happen." said Allen, smiling faintly. And he was sincere, cause he didn't really remember anything at all.

"You escape from me for fifteen minutes and then you hit yourself hard enough to get a temporary amnesia. What a joy." sighed the german watchman frustrated.

"I did what?"

"You heard me, Walker. Don't play fool with me. You escaped from my watch and then fell from the dormitory's sixth floor."

Apparently, Link himself didn't know much details about the matter, and that could perfectly explain his bad mode. Or maybe he wasn't willing to tell what really happened.

"... Can I go to eat now?"

"The Head Nurse hasn't discharged you yet, and with that neck brace you won't be able to proceed your bad habit or fast eating."

Link was right, much to his dismay. The Matron Nurse was such a fearsome demon when it was about patients who disobeyed the infirmary's norms, especially when someone leaves without being discharged. Well, yes, they couldn't keep the injured hungry, so eventually they'd give them their fair ration of food. That's what Allen feared, cause he knew all the nursery's food had this paste-flavoured thingy.

"Care to bring me some food?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You can consider it as your sanction for trying to escape from my supervision, Walker. As long as you remain in this bed, you'll eat whatever they give you here."

"That's not fair and you know it, Link!" startled Allen, not very happy with his little sentence. "I don't remember doing that!"

"How can I know you're not lying? What reason would you think you'd have to slip away from my inspection?"

That left the albino thoughtful, for that he didn't stop to meditate enough the whole situation he was in. He tried to remember the last things he had on mind before going blank. Forced his mind further down the corners of his memory, until he figured out those names that were important. Yu Kanda. Alma Karma. But beyond that, he suffered this mind block, as if such key names couldn't lead him to where he tried to remember.

"I can't remember, Link. Sorry." muttered Allen, honest as disappointed as he really was.

"Breakfast time!" announced one of the nurse's voice, she sounded somewhat joyful, but probable she'd be laughing at the patient's disgusted faces, since she wouldn't give a taste of that horrid food.

"Somebody please kill me now!" groaned one Finder who was settled nearby Walker's bed, looking a bit worse, one broken leg, both arms plastered arms and face covered with bandages.

"Oh, I hate the paste..." murmured the boy making a face. But then his attention got focused to the entrance of the nursery room, where somebody tall and well-known was passing by.

"You woke-up, Allen." it was Marie, and he seemed to have just arrived from the training yard, well, he could tell from the distance since he could smell the harsh scent of sweat... perhaps his good nose was getting really sharp.

"Ah... Hello, Marie. Nice to see you."

"Good. You're getting well. I'd like to talk to you." he was ignoring Link, which he didn't really mind.

"What is it?"

Marie then seemed surprised when hearing Allen's question.

"Seems like you lost your memories from the last moments before falling."

"Exorcist Noise Marie, did you talk with Walker before the incident?" interrogated the german inspector all of sudden, his gaze directed severely on the bigger exorcist, but it wouldn't do any effect, since he was blind.

"Indeed. It was just for a few moments, but we talked..."

"We did?" didn't matter how much he tried, but he couldn't remember to have talked to Marie recently; though he had this feeling that there was something important on that matter.

"You must tell me then what happened." demanded the inspector with strong voice. Marie didn't seem to care, Allen feared.

"Allen was looking for Kanda. I told him that he'd find him on the dormitories. He wanted to talk to him about some personal matters, and somehow he ended up provoking Kanda, making him to throw this kid from the sixth floor. Is that information enough for you, inspector?" said so clearly, as it wasn't big deal to do so, and even this made Allen to be surprised about his mate Marie.

Link immediately got out running from the nursery, cause this information that Marie revealed was meant to be written on Link's report, and Allen right away realized that all of this was perfectly logical.

"That'll keep him occupied for a few moments. I wanted to seriously talk to you." said sober Marie, who sat on the same chair Howard Link used moments ago. The boy knew everything was part of the elder exorcist's plan.

Unwillingly Allen briefly laughed, but wasn't amused at all.

"... That idiot threw me from the sixth floor?..." whispered as he took his temples with both hands. "Why ain't I so surprised about it?; you didn't make it out, did you, Marie?"

"Even though I warned you, you decided to take the bull by the horns."

"And I don't even remember what happened that day." murmured Allen with shallow bad mode. "I'm sorry, but this is a '_shit_'"

"Do you always apologize when you swear?"

"It's just an habit. I don't like to be rude with other people."

Marie laughed. "It's not bad if you neglect your manners while talking, nobody will reproach you for that. None of your friends will."

"I never heard you curse. You're much more polite than I'll ever be. Is that because you're Tiedoll's disciple?"

"Kanda cursed hundreds of times a day, and Master never reproached him for it."

"... That's a good point..."

"It seems like you found out about that kid somewhere." he shook his head sadly. "I don't know why did you wanted to talk about that with Kanda all of sudden... Why did you do it?"

"It's not like I find Kanda pleasing or else, I wouldn't either want to pity him, but... I think that I can understand a bit how does he feel. That's all."

"Why?"

"I... With my own hands I killed someone that was precious to me. That's why... I think I know how does he feel. We can be so different in many aspects, but I just know that we've went through similar things." murmured with a dark tone this pale boy, whose mouth was dry as he spoke those words from the privet corners of his heart.

"As I thought." sighed Marie as he seemed exhausted, carrying his sorrowful worries within. "I've figured out why both of you are always on each other's necks. You're both so similar."

"What? What's the deal with that?"

"... The darkness surrounding each of you is so deep... that I can't see how to pull you out of it." Marie smiled, but wasn't happy either, it was just the mask to hide the memories of an even darker secret. "It's frustrating, even though he was the one who saved my life." (1)

He wouldn't reach himself to fully understand the words of Marie, but he was sure that there was some hidden meaning behind the relationship he had with his partner Kanda. After all, Marie was one of the few men whom Kanda felt some respect towards, besides Lenalee.

"... Marie, I've found out something horrible. But I thought that there was something to get happy about it. I thought that Kanda should had to know it, but I just ended up hurting him even more, didn't I?"

"What you're talking about?"

"Remember the Third Exorcists? They are... half Akuma, aren't they? It seems like someone took a piece of the Akuma Egg back then and implanted it to Alma. Just days ago I found out that guy Alma is still alive." after finishing that phrase, Allen noticed how was Marie's frightened reaction, an indescribable fear reflected on his face.

"Allen... how...?" his face was heavily sweating. "Are you sure?"

"Trust me, I wish that I had imagined that thing written on the paper, wish that perhaps I could have wrongly read the document. But I know it, I'm sure that Kanda's friend is still alive, hidden somewhere beneath the American Branch of the Order. I can't be mistaken, Marie."

"Then Kanda didn't believe you and gone berserk against you." deduced the elder exorcist.

"Probably that's what happened. But still, there's something that doesn't fit..." said the young man, entering in his personal thoughts again, wandering on those unreachable corners of his conscience. Marie pondered a few seconds as well, then frowned slightly. There his younger comrade knew that he figured out something out of it.

"I don't think Kanda would really have wanted to throw you like that from the last floor. Perhaps he could have done it trusting on your capabilities... By yourself you could have stopped your falling, Allen."

He was so right about it. Allen felt a god-awful shiver running all through his body when he finally realized the facts, and Marie noticed the sudden tension that entered to his friend. If his memories were somehow blurry, it was because of that entity that lived inside his body and could manipulate his mind. Fourteenth.

He started to recall so vividly the last seconds before being knocked out.

'_No way... Damn you are._'

Marie approached and put his hand on his mate's shoulder, contact that was supposed to be comforting. Allen wanted to look at him, but well, he knew it was meaningless for Marie's blindness. Yet, he felt grateful for those intentions of soothing him.

"It's alright. Now you're fine. Calm down." said he with calmed voice the elder one, and Allen nodded slowly because of the collar that immobilized his neck.

"Can I ask you to please retire? It's time to feed the patient." interrupted the nurse nearby when it was least expected.

"Yes, I'm sorry ma'am." didn't resist to the nurse's request and stood up from the chair without complaints. "Let's just keep this between you and me, Allen. Alright?" whispered calmly, making him know that he was a friend he could fully trust.

"See you..." he was abruptly bursted in by the sight of his plate filled by that grey dough that seemed to have life on it's own. Allen wouldn't willingly eat this, not even if it'd kill him with hunger.

Link, his supervisor in a matter of time came back after Marie left. Allen then was willing to pout and make a show if needed to don't be fed by that crap the nurses dared to name 'breakfast'.

* * *

June 11th

He didn't want to stay for long, for he was only going to have a small talk with the old Chef from the Asian Branch. Even when he was being watched by the Crow agents, they couldn't follow him when he reached to the Section Chiefs in privet. Just casually, he found himself with the Asian Branch's Chief, Bak Chan accompanied by his old assistant Wong. He was young, not older than thirty years, he had the chinese features from his mother, but he got the blond hair from his european father. So his appearance was one of the most particular inside this place. But as the way Kanda didn't care for Bak Chan's looks, he'd just grow annoyed by his nonsense and pathetic attempts of courtesy.

"You came to talk to Old-man Zhu?"

"I don't come to this place for no reason. I'm not certain Branch Chief that goes visiting places for no reason." spitted Kanda irritated, ignoring as much as he could the tense aspect of the Asian Order's supervisor.

"Right..." Bak Chan laughed nervously as he hid behind his back one carpet—probably filled with pictures of Lenalee Lee—. "Anyways, what do you want to talk with the old man? You don't come here unless it's really that important..."

"I'm not here to talk to you, so don't you even." the truth is that Kanda never liked too much Bak Chan, for a long time. Even when he didn't want to put all the blame on him for being descendant of the Chan family, he didn't like him either ways. Not at all.

They sat inside the pavilion built on one of the internal gardens of the Asian Order. The atmosphere of this place was designed with the purpose of instilling peace to whoever came to visit, it was the most typical style of chinese gardens, and it even had a small pond filled with colorful Koi fish. However, none of this was enough to calm Bak down, for the day of today he seemed to be unusually stressed, and it could be directly linked to the fact that Kanda was there sitting one meter away from him.

And Wong wasn't helping much by serving tea.

"Any... Anytime he'll show up! Don't despair! Fou will find him soon!"

Yet, even more silence.

The truth, Bak wasn't a nervous man, but the opposite. Had a vibrating and powerful attitude to be someone who had lost his parents in such an atrocious way, knowing those were their fated deaths. They were his parents, Edgar Chan Martin and Touyi Chan, former Chief of the Asian Branch, whom died on that catastrophe nine years ago after all. Kanda found somewhat admirable the optimism of the young Chief for surpassing that tragedy and have the will of continuing this life.

They swore after that time, Lenny Epstein and Bak Chan, that such an atrocity wouldn't be repeated in the Black Order, that they'd not make of God a toy as they did when they created Alma and Yu. Or at least, that's what Kanda have hoped.

Then they arisen the Third Exorcists. Half-Akuma monstrosities that were breed by the twisted ambition of Lvellie and Epstein for having more weapons for the Holy War. If that harpy of Lenny would really be sorry of her father's death, she would have rejected the idea of the Third Exorcists in first place.

"I've heard that you've got a fight with Walker and he came out pretty badly hurt."

And right, he had to take up the worst topic to begin to fuck up his patience.

"That's what he gets for being an imbecile." the exorcist Kanda answered automatically. It was just so incredible how easily his mood could be changed in a half of a second.

"He's mad, Master Bak!" exclaimed the assistant Wong, just like a moron. Bak just wanted to be swallowed by the earth right now. But this is what annoyed Kanda the most, whenever he seemed upset about something everyone just became hysterical and scared as little children.

"What's taking so long for that old man? Are you sure he hasn't died yet?" asked Kanda as one vein was marking his fringe-covered forehead.

"... Uh... Look! He's here!" Bak pointed out rapidly outside the pavilion's rail, and indeed, there he was coming at his patient pace, the old man with his kitchen attire, just taking off his hat as Fou was almost dragging him by the white apron.

He was already a very old man and was average bald, but the gray hair that still grew behind his nape was combed by a ponytail. His beard was well brushed, he used a monocle and both ears had several earrings. He had a so-so physical condition for someone of his age, he was a bit stocky and had those bags formed on his face and had a notable jowl. The most interesting detail of his appearance perhaps was the strange tattoo on his head, which had several vertical lines that gave the form to a rhombus diamond.

Though Zhu Mei Chan was the Chief of chefs from the Asian Order, he was also the the manufacturer of the Anti Akuma Weapons, and undoubtedly the master who forged Mugen, the katana sword that nowadays belonged only to Kanda.

"Kanda, how nice to see you." smiled the old man, his almond eyes always showed kindness towards him.

"You've called for me." answered the insolent young exorcist.

"How've you been?"

"As always."

"Alright. You two get out of here." demanded rudely the ghost girl dragging Wong outside the pavilion. Bak Chan was literally kicked out of the place, then yelling loudly at Fou's irrational and violent behavior. "They're gonna talk alone, _geez_, don't they need some privacy?"

"DON'T KICK ME!" exclaimed Bak furiously from the distance.

As all the interferences finally left the place, the exorcist and Zhu remained all alone. He sat peacefully and sighed tired while cleaning his wrinkled hands with the apron stained by the vegetable's colors.

"Tomorrow I'm leaving with Bak to the American Branch. It's an important conference, so today we have little time left."

"Let's just get it over already. I'm not here for wasting time, neither you are."

"Right, I understand." the elder man seemed to slowly contemplate the young man's face, he seemed happy, but he was actually hiding his grief.

'_Do you still see it, Kanda? Let's keep it as a secret between you and me. Don't think about it. It's just an illusion. The flower it's just an illusion._'

"So, say Kanda, do you still see the flower?"

'_Before all the petals fall, I'll be waiting._'

Yes, the lotus flowers were in every corner of his eyes, the scent he could almost feel, fragrant and sickening, which he began to hate every day a little bit more. But until he could find that woman, this so-called illusion wouldn't cease to torment him.

* * *

(1).– Same dialogue from chapter 185 on the manga. Marie rocks.

**A/N: Lot of references about DGM's manga, just to keep up with the story.**

**204 is out. WE PREDICT JOHNNY IS THE HEART! :B He appears way too much to be such an unimportant character... otherwise it has to be Lenalee somehow. RoadxAllen FTW.**

**IKWYS:** It's kinda becoming an habit to update late. Sorry for that. Went through personal issues and it made me late for job. Again all thanks to Honey for her support and help... especially for this chapter.

**Honey:** Praise me, for I had to translate 90% of the whole chapter. Pity my little Pinky. She's doing her best. If you gonna troll, do it with grace, or she can turn mad. And let's talk about Lady GaGa, cause her face implants are awesome and I love how do people react to that. She births aliens, how awesome. Hey Pinky, can we make Kanda birth little aliens too?

From now and on, we share the same FF account, so we changed the user's name. Fair is fair.


	4. Pretty Flowers

**IV. Pretty Flowers.**

June 17th

The news were just heard by this morning, first just common rumors, then she knew by her brother Komui's dark gaze. Somewhere on Carson City, Nevada in the U.S. they found the bodies of three Finders. One of them was still alive, but not for long. When she heard the detailed condition of their bodies, she thought that it might be just one sick bad-tasted joke.

Flowers grew from their heads. Just as she heard. Three Finders that were researching one case on Nevada they were found naked and tied up from hands and feet, their skulls wide open and one flower growing out of their brains (1). The only survivor was quickly taken to New Orleans where there was their only U.S. portal to the Ark.

And story wasn't done there. Other three finders were missing in Carson City, and couldn't be thrown away the supposition that they've got the very same bad luck.

Could be possible that all the missing ones also had a flower growing from their brains as well.

The mental picture was too much grotesque for Lenalee to bear and didn't feel capable of asking Komui who were the victims of such a bizarre and sick crime... But she wanted to know.

"Lenalee, you should better... retire."

"Please, at least tell who's the only survivor, brother."

"Even if you go and visit him, it won't help. His condition is delicated, I really don't know if we're gonna be able to save him."

Already had to be worried about Allen's recent incident in the headquarters... and that 'strange' incident that happened yesterday, and now this horrible case. The problem here was that she couldn't quit her mind from thinking about 'her matter' with Allen, and whenever she did, she felt some hideous nausea in her stomach.

But, back to the topic, this wasn't the first time that this kind of brutal attacks happened to Finders, and normally, if their bodies were sent back, they were torn in pieces and made dust if their missions failed. And this thing was abnormal.

"Tell me who they are. All their friends and partners they'll eventually know, brother."

"... Martin White. The other two were Lucas Cotton and Mariana Costa."

She recalled, briefly meeting Martin months ago and chatting to him more than once. Never had the chance to meet Lucas and she barely talked to Mariana, but however none of this made it less painful, the fact that more of her comrades were fallen.

"Thanks, brother."

She'd go visit Martin, if there was some use of that. She'd also come to mourn the death of the other two Finders. She didn't mean to make of this a rutine, but Lenalee was always thoughtful for her comrades. If they got hurt, she'd visit them. If they died, she'd visit them. Finders were the ones with lowest rank in the hierarchy of the Order, and someone as high-ranked as an exorcist, who could come by to pity them and embrace them, was just like the equivalent of a god in flesh who came to comfort the lost sheep.

But Lenalee wasn't an angel, nor she believed she was sent by God. She hated God, she hated it for sending children to war, she hated it for all the people she cared died, and more than anything, she hated the name of the 'holy' weapons made to shed the blood of their enemies._ Innocence_. The Innocence was just a rotten word. She knew that the Innocence wasn't an instrument for the exorcists, the exorcists were the instruments for the Innocence.

But she'd do all she could, she'd act as an angel, for what she cared was the tomorrow of the world that surrounded her, and she'd give anything for protecting it and keep it on standing. Was the least she could do, to be an angel even if she hated God.

* * *

"You won't guess what Timothy got me through this morning. Sometimes I just can't understand why does he had such a will to get himself in trouble..."

There, it was coming.. Another boring story about the tragic daily life of the tutor of a exorcist child on training.

"... He made me take him to the nursery because he cut himself with a pencil. Can you believe it? A pencil! No-one can cut itself with such a thing! He just bled one drop and then demanded me to take him to the infirmary. I couldn't refuse, of course, cause it'd make me look bad for not dealing with him, you know. I do worry for Timothy, but sometimes he's just too much. Do you know for what did he want me to take him there? Today they received a Finder very badly wounded from America. It gave me such a great fright. He had the top of his skull open, can you believe it? You could even see his brain, and on the top of all, he had a flower growing from there. It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen in my whole life... besides the Akumas, of course."

It began to get interesting, alright.

"A flower growing outta his brains? asked Kanda.

"Yes, Timothy is somewhat ghoulish and wanted to see it... honestly, I think that he won't make it, the Finder."

"Who's the poor son of a bitch?"

"Uhm... I don't know... White was his name, I think."

"White..." he recalled that name, knowing that it was such a common name among people these days.

Then he remembered that time two months ago, when he was forced to travel on boat to the United States with that dick Lavi and the faggot Allen Walker to get to New Orleans. He was sure they were accompanied by a short blond Finder called Martin White.

Just a regular loser, like everyone. Why did he remember that guy above other Finders? The freaking novice challenged him to a fencing duel, which of course, ended up losing; and in response, Martin managed to catch him with the guard down and used the wooden sword to pick him on the testicles, which started a deadly persecution between him and that idiot Finder. The faggot Beansprout laughed for hours as Kanda pursued the finder Martin all around the boat until they grew tired. That's why he remembered him.

And now, as told by his 'girlfriend', that guy who foolishly challenged him and hit his balls was now a living flowerpot.

"I'm going to take a look."

"You too?"

"Don't come if you don't want to."

But it always happened this way. People he met inside the Order would eventually die and leave him alone. Exorcists, Finders, Scientists... all of them would die in the Holy War. Daisya Barry, who was also Tiedoll's disciple and had his same 'age', who was considered as a 'good mate', just about half year ago was killed by a Noah, and they found his body crucified on downside, with chains tearing through him and his heart stolen, literally. That was just one example.

Daisya, besides Marie, got really close to the definition of 'friend'. Recently they he almost lost Marie when an Akuma shot his hand; it was just good luck and fast reflexes what saved him, but, how much luck would Marie have from now and on? Exorcists, Finders, they'd all just die eventually. And he was going to watch them go.

And he wasn't going to die, not until he could find 'that person', and that was all what matters.

Back to Martin White's situation, it wasn't like he felt something special for that guy, but he was curious for it. That a flower grew from his head was alone the most intriguing thing and maybe would be worth the watch. He'd only go and watch.

* * *

Today, June 17th, something new happened in the infirmary. A rushed group of alarmed nurses entered, driving in a wheelchair a man with his head covered by a cape, from where he could tell the strange lump which was completely abnormal from the average features of a human head. Probably a Finder, he was put on a most remote place of the infirmary room, the space was covered by curtains to give it some privacy... or perhaps to don't disturb the other patients with what would be a gruesome wound to be treated.

"What in the world happened to him?" asked Allen with low voice, since he could barely move his neck with the collar towards the direction he wanted. He was now perfectly capable of leaving bed and take a walk, but the Head Nurse had her eyes on him and Link would start to complain. Maybe today or tomorrow he was going to be released from the nursery... if he behaved well.

"Seems like they found him with a plant growing from inside his crane."

"Is that possible?"

"I saw it this morning with my own eyes before attending you, Walker. You'd better to don't see him if you wish having breakfast today. I didn't have it."

"Then can I have yours?"

"Don't get cocky." answered his inspector with derogatory eyes.

In a matter of few minutes, a lot of visitors came into the nursery; didn't took long to Allen to realize that most of them weren't just friends of that poor man who just came in seriously wounded, but they were just loads of onlookers. Among them he recognized the little Timothy and his good-looking female tutor; then Bookman and his young apprentice Lavi came along, he, who didn't waste time to give a talk to his friend on bed.

"You've seen it, Allen?" asked Lavi, he could hardly smile now, cause it seemed that he didn't know if he should keep up his good mode or being a little more reserved for the injured comrade.

"No. Link won't let me." said Allen staring at the german gentleman. Lavi made an infantile gesture.

"Aw, please, Two-Spot." exclaimed the young Bookman as he was a child.

"I've got a name, you knew, Junior?" that was one of the great amount of things that could bother Link's impassive mode.

"Anyways, the old man was going to take a look at him. Though doubt there is something that can be done to the poor guy, even with our medical knowledge."

"I don't think he's gonna make it. If his brain remains too long exposed to fresh air... if they cut the flower, he'll die." Link declared with gloomy low pitch. But he was right, cause this man would eventually die one way or another.

"I wonder how did that happen..." Allen whispered, truly making a good question about the matter.

"They've found other two just like him, and there are still three who remain missing. If I recall correctly, they found them on Carson City, Nevada. Heard they were researching about an Innocence-related case and suddenly one day they stopped communicating to the headquarters. Took some guys to find them and... surprise! Found that three Finders were human flowerpots at an abandoned house's garden, you see."

Sometimes it was scary how could Lavi be so frivolous at explaining this kinds of things. He lacked of seriousness, Allen thought, but it was alright, he prefered his friend Lavi's brimming mood rather than Yu Kanda's acid irritability.

"That sounds serious." Allen frowned upwards, finding the mental picture rather macabre. "Don't you think the same could happened to the missing Finders?"

"Could be. But the only thing we can hope for is for them to be just fine."

"Allen Walker." called an elder woman dressed with white apron. She reflected a lot of stress on her face.

"Yes, Matron?" the boy returned somewhat nervous.

"It's time for another checkup. You seem to be healing rather fast. Perhaps this is the last time." he didn't liked the way the Matron talked. She pronounced 'rather fast' as she was upset about it.

"Alright... I'll come by later, Allen. I'm joining the old Panda to nose around." said Lavi turning his back to his friend. "Say hello to Lenalee on my behalf when she comes by."

"I will." Allen knew that Lenalee came by everyday since he came injured to the infirmary, however she wouldn't come today; not after what happened the last time. He now felt incapable of facing her after what he'd done.

It yet still ran through his backbone a violent shudder whenever he remembered what happened between him and Lenalee the last day, and he felt somehow grateful that neither Link or Timcanpy or any other golem saw it. Was much more than relieved. Even if he knew he stopped before going too far, Allen felt his heart's rhythm quickening to a deadly pace when those horrid thoughts about Lenalee passed through his head.

* * *

Overall, people were annoying, especially when they were all reunited in one single place. Not even the Matron's angry face was enough to scare them away, unless they could get the 'special patient' into an individual privet room, so they could prevent so many unpleasant visitors. Just a bunch of onlookers.

They were about fifty of them on the way, everyone crowded together to see what was behind the curtain that hid the poor man. Standing on his toes, Kanda could see that they were clearing the way for an old man and a certain red-headed guy with an eye patch. Was quite obvious that those two Bookmen had to get involved, since they were known for having a vast knowledge of medicine.

Then he turned his head on left, he realized that he was standing in front of the bed of that asshole who he sent to the nursery just a few days ago. For one second, their eyes met, he was irascible and the other one surprised. Allen was about to say something, but at last he decided to remain quiet since Link's presence was always a problem; and Kanda noticed the Beansprout's face was just the same as back then when he tried to provide credibility to his cruel tale.

Allen had thousands of words expressed in his crystalline-gray eyes, Kanda could interpret it as just the gaze of a crybaby faggot, but deep inside he knew that he was trying to communicate something to him. Besides, wouldn't he hate him further for being pushed from the sixth floor?

No. He wasn't guilty at all, it was that Fourteenth Noah bastard who took over of that body just for a few moments, and for instinct he was driven to hurt him, because of that bloody and primitive tantrum Kanda to plunge the boy. Thinking that the Beansprout would save himself, Fourteenth decided to prove the exorcist wrong and while teasingly smiling he let himself fall.

That was it. The fucking son of a bitch wanted to mock him. Wanted to fight him and prove he wasn't capable of killing him, and if he tried, Allen Walker would get hurt, would become the sacrifice for Yu Kanda's irrational wrath.

He turned his face to another direction, trying so hard to completely ignore this kid Walker, trying to make his heart feel no regret at all; so he started to move those idiots away, pushing them aside so he could get his own way. Some began to complain at the exorcist's abuse, and they deliberatedly stood against Kanda. Bad idea.

"Fine, bitches..." never thought for even two seconds, he drew his katana... "Will you step aside or shall I cut you with this sword?"

"Are you crazy?" yelled one bearded finder with wide eyes. "How can you bring your Anti Akuma here to the nursery? You're mad!"

"Step aside." he raised his menace, Mugen was aiming to the same height of the eyes of the finder who dared of defying him.

"Christ! This is the infirmary, exorcist Kanda! It's strictly forbiden to fight, and even you bring your weapon to this place! Put it away or get out of here!" said the poor matron nurse, who already had to deal with all the stressful scandal, now a psycopath with a katana sword was more than she could handle. As a small gift of mercy, Kanda decided to get Mugen back to its' shealth.

Now, without time to waste, he kept on pushing people around, for he also wanted to take a look since he was tainted to see such an spectacle. He entered the sea of people until he got himself in front of a half-open curtain, where he could see the back of the elder Bookman and his apprentice. Probably they were checking on the unlucky man with the flower on his head.

He unconciously shivered. His nose perceived one sweet smell that seemed familiar to him.

He pushed another finder aside, to get himself a bettew view beyond the curtain. The mere picture was even more grotesque than he imagined, and now he understood why did Emilia say it was the most terrifying thing she ever seen.

Martin White's gaze was lost in nothingness, his half-open mouth allowed the drool to overflow, he was to pale, a living dead. Apparently, someone managed to cut this youth's crane in such a way so the brain remained untouched, thus it was a perfect open to see the gray matter. To see a _living_ brain was even more disgusting than he'd ever thought it'd be. It was a nauseating viscose-looking mass. Pink it was, but also red. The bright green roots were tangled inwards... and the flower, it was a tender-pink lotus.

A Lotus Flower, withering.

He approached, curious. Normally, the flowers were on the floor, sometimes on the walls, but never above people, so he always knew where to walk without tip-toeing with people. He came closer, exceeding the limit that separated the ill from the visitors. But he didn't seem to care, his eyes were just focused on the lotus.

"Yu, what are you doing here? The Matron is going to quarrel on you." said Lavi, but the other exorcists didn't hear him, like it was the whisper of a mouse.

It wasn't normal that it'd grow from a head, Lotus flowers grew sprouting out of the mud. So how it'd come to bloom from the sickening flesh of a dying man?

'_... Hey, do you know what flower is this?_'

'_It's a Lotus Flower. It rises from the mud upwards to heaven, making of the world a blessed place._'

"Yu, stop! What the hell?" the voice of Junior was barely a muddled sound reaching to Kanda's head, from his spoiled perception of reality.

"What are you doing, Kanda? Desist now!" Bookman also held a shocked reaction and his hand's grip held still exorcist Yu's wrist.

Until now, he didn't notice that his hand was about to reach the withering bloom that sprouted from the disgusting surface of Martin White's brain. He felt a sudden giddiness, as if his head was spinning around, and his agitation grew without any apparent reason. It was as if he came out of a trance, the personal limbo of endless echoes.

"What's wrong with you?" Lavi just pulled him out of the curtain zone, Kanda still felt dizzy. And the worst of all, the _stupid one-eyed Rabbit_ dragged him as if he some lost child. "You're like a faraway, _Yu-chan_."

While he was take unto one of the vacant nursery beds, Kanda began to recover his senses as he laid his face on his hand. Then he realized that Lavi was just too close and he didn't find pleasing this attempt of courtesy.

"_Yu-chan_?" he patted gently to his head, like a stupid.

"Call me like that again and I'm gonna drag you far away from the nursery, I'll brutaly beat you up, then I'll cut your dick and hone it to stab your only eye with it."

"Woah, that's the most creative threat you've ever come up to so far." said Lavi with a sharp smirk.

"Shall I also cut off your balls and shove them up your ass as well, _stupid Rabbit_?" he gazed angered towards the red-head, warning him to take his distance as soon as possible. Lavi decided that getting away was now the best thing to do for_ his dear friend_ Yu.

"... Okay... I'm leaving then. Geez, you don't have to get pissed." said he retiring farther away from the bad-tempered idiot.

The nurse approached to the exorcist to tell him off again, but then she started to get worried as she noticed how pale was the skin of Kanda. As if he was sick or something.

"Shit, I'm fine." complained the youngster in bad mood while he retired the nurse's cold hand away from his face, but she insisted despite the replies of the long-haired lout and managed to get her hand on his forehead. She seemed surprised.

"Oh goodness, you're burning!"

"Don't bother me, I'm okay. I haven't felt bad the whole day.

"Perhaps you catched something when you entered the infirmary."

"I'm not sick. I don't have fever, or else." he answered for the last time as he abruptly got up from the bed's edge. It was ridiculous. He just couldn't get sick, because his body wouldn't let him. He was capable of feeling physical and mental exhaustion, he could feel cold, hot, pain and pleasure, but was completely unable to bear any disease.

"I hate stubborn guys like you." spitted the frivolous woman, and not afraid of giving herself a bad image she sent an agressive stare to the young exorcist.

"Tell me something I don't know already."

Was the last reply he gave before leaving the nursery. He didn't even deigned to turn his eyes again to that kid Walker when he passed through him.

He'd go to see Komui tomorrow morning however, and this time he was willing to demand a payback of favor.

He knew obviously that they were going to send more Finders to Carson City after this, however, he doubted that Central would worry about this incidents and would even bother to send their precious Crow Agents to investigate the missing finders. They'd not even move a finger to save the lives of the lower ranks or the Black Order's hierarchical system.

But right now, Kanda wasn't a bit worried for finding the three missing people nor saving their lives either for he didn't even know or care. What Kanda wanted to find was the author of those bizarre crimes, the one who planted the lotus flowers and got one inside Martin White's brain. He didn't need to be a genious to realize that this was an abnormal case, and it wasn't about curiosity or intrigue but it was a _feeling_, above anything else.

There was something on that flower, so pure, so decadent, it was calling his name. In his heart he knew it. Somebody was calling for him.

Cursed be those _feelings_.

* * *

June 19th

Today, the Finder Martin White passed away, because the lotus flower housed on his head had to be cut since there was no possible way to remove it without harming his brain. He was sacrificed for saving him from the suffering, if perhaps Martin was still capable of suffering on that state of deadly torpor. Nevertheless, there was never a chance to save him, this Black Order's server would never be else than a human vegetable with that undermined brain of his. Just like everyone else, he'd be put inside a white coffin for his funeral, then they'd cremate his body, just like they did with each deceased member who gave his life for this religious organization.

But there were yet three Finders missing in this death-list, or maybe, just maybe they were still alive somewhere around Carson City, Nevada. And the Supervisor Komui found necessary to know the whereabouts of those missing ones.

Whoever it was the father of these strange crimes, it could be a vile psychopath impassionated for the plants and hunted servers of the Black Order since, so far, the only victims known wore the uniforms. Or perhaps it was just a mere coincidence. But however, if it was human, if it was an Akuma or a Noah, they couldn't leave it on the loose.

If more Finders continued their research of Innocence, they'd be chased by the same perpretator and probably they'd share the same fate of their predecesors. This couldn't go on, and Komui knew the value of the human lives that were lost in this case. To send exorcists there would be different however. In case of it being an Akuma, they were on the duty of eliminating it. In case it was a human person, they were more likely to handle it and take that person to the authorities to take care of the matter.

Central had already rejected the proposal of sending agents of Crow, but Komui knew well his exorcists, and they were capacitated to deal with an insane person like this. It was decided. As crazy as it'd sound, he'd send them there. And by just passing through, it was requested that the Musician was to be sent to the North American Branchto open a new portal to conect them with the Main Headquarters here.

"Komui, I want you to send me there."

"Why would you want to go, Kanda?"

"I need to be sent there."

"Allen Walker must go there too, are you completely sure you want to go?"

"... Yes. I don't give a shit. Just send me there."

"Then just be nice with the lad."

"I won't promise you anything."

In that case, Komui couldn't explain why Kanda insisted on going to Carson City. Did he had a relationship with the Finders? Would it be personal?... or perhaps it was for the flowers? Kanda was never the kind of soldiers who'd go to missions for personal reasons, he never got carried away by internal matters nor his feelings. But... this was the only time that he was asking the favor. We owed him, so there wasn't a reason to deny this chance.

"I'm sending Marie as well." knew that there was only one fellow comrade who was able to calm the bad mood of Yu Kanda, that was Noise Marie. There was no other way. He'd send them all together to keep this shattered team a little bit balanced.

* * *

He was discharged from the hospital, but he'd be still wearing the collar until next week. Although he already felt relieved that he wouldn't eat anymore of that gray mass of food they served on the nursery facility. In exchange of all that, Link would become even more distrustful than ever and it'd take Allen a while to talk again to Lenalee... The poor girl must still be scared, incensed, angry, anything but happy for him and the only one guilty was him. He frowned by just imagining_ it_. That his undesired host controlled his body as it pleased thus having provoked that _incident_. It was out of his understanding.

What exactly the Fourteenth had against his friends? Well, it really didn't lack of sense, if the Noah's regret against an exorcist was just part of _their nature_.

He was thinking it through during the afternoon's meal, usually the dining hall wasn't as full of people as the mornings or so. Many were still working at this time of the day, and as the way that today he wasn't granted with the permission of going to the training area and Link was to look after him closely, so right now he couldn't do anything at all.

Had the good fortune of finding his friend Marie again at dinner time, who seemed to be very happy beside Miranda Lotto, an exorcist woman who's been inside the Order for a bit longer than a year. She was kind of clumsy, that was something nobody could deny. But deep within he own imperfections, she was very special among others, since she often played an important role during battles against Akumas, her Innocence being an instrument to violate the laws of Time. But Allen was sure those qualities didn't matter at all to Marie since they were holding each other's hands. It was cute to see them together once on a while.

"So, since when are you hanging out?"

"H-hanging out? Wha-what are you talking about, Allen?" stuttered the german woman gently flushed. "I was just accompanying him to the dinner hall and... I'm going for a snack!" the nervous woman announced, separating from Marie to get into the line for those who were ready to order Jeryy's food.

"It's okay, Miranda." the young man smiled slightly as he watched how Miranda slipped and almost fell to the floor because of her rush, so the great Marie sat beside him. He'd be waiting for his food order. But suddenly exorcist Noise's smile faded when he addressed his friend Allen.

"Komui called for us. Seems like he wants to assign us a new mission together." Noise murmured with a serious tone. Couldn't really tell what did his friend intend to denote.

"Well, then we should get on going, right?" Allen answered a bit doubtful.

"It'll be on North America , Allen." said slowly and low, but didn't intent to sound suspicious to Howard Link's sharp hearing. "Seems like they want you to go to the American branch to open an Ark's portal there."

"... Thanks, Marie."

"First is the mission, Walker." interfered the german young-man on his back, attentive to each word he analyzed on that small conversation between the exorcists. "I don't know what are your plans on the U.S., but you won't be allowed to do anything out of your orders."

"Huh, thanks for reminding me that, Link. Much appreciated." said the albino with a nasty sarcastic gesture. This was unpleasant for Howard, the way that the youth was becoming even more rebel to his watch thus becoming harder to tolerate that misconduct.

In a matter of minutes, after an awkward and silent meal, both exorcists were accompanied by the inspector Link, they followed to the main office which belonged the Head Chief Lee. The silence surrounding they was so thick that Link couldn't help but to wonder why were they so quiet, and it felt strange. Yes, maybe inside his short absences, Allen did not waste his time and acted, not wanting his watcher to know what was all that about. He couldn't leave Allen alone for so long, he knew.

They opened the office's door, Bridget Fay, personal assistant of the head chief, she delivered to everyone but Marie a carpet—since Marie wasn't capable of reading— that contained the information about their next mission. Komui was on the other side of the office and then he turned his face to them, his gaze was strictly serious this time. Specially towards the white haired exorcist.

And he realized, Lenalee was also here, on her hands she held the tray for the coffee for her older brother, and she couldn't help to stare at him. He did as well, not on purpose, but he soon moved his eyes away. He couldn't keep his eyes on her, not when he had his head filled with such dirty and vile images when he thought about Lenalee. He felt ashamed of himself, for having possibly hurt and scared her with such cruelty and without apologizing.

What he did to his girl friend couldn't be explained, and it'd take him time to be forgiven.

But he tried so hard to hide this tension to Komui Lee, since he was the overprotective brother of the girl. If he was ever to find out of what happened, God knows, that he wouldn't stay with his arms crossed. Lenalee, he knew her quite well, and she wouldn't give him away; but the best thing to be done would be to say the truth, for her own good, and for everyone else.

"I'm sorry for sending you to a mission jsut when you were released of the infirmary, Allen. But you've got the task of opening a new door to the North American Branch."

"I understand. And what is all that about, Komui?" Allen asked sitting on one of the quilted chairs in front of the chief's messy desk. Marie did as well.

"I presume you are already familiar with the case of the Finders we've brought from Carson City. This isn't the regular task for an exorcist, I know, but you must go there to investigate that place and the missing Finders."

"So, you're asking us to make other people's jobs, Komui?" asked Marie.

"We still don't know the true nature of whoever has done these crimes. Our only hint it's that he's hunting the Black Order's servers. Besides, the Finders that were working on that zone were already studying an Innocence case about a month ago, they had made advances on their research and we can't risk ourselves to lose another crystal shard just for the silly games of a psychopath."

"It could be an Akuma or a Noah, is that what we suppose?" Link showed a little interest behind his words.

"Exactly. But anyways we could be wrong. Little we know about our strange murderer and his capabilities."

"It's curious that you use the word 'murderer' to refer at him, sir." said Link leafing at his carpet's pages. "Whoever it was the author of these crimes, he technically haven't killed anyone. We sure can find him guilty of kidnapping, torture and—"

"I know, thanks, Inspector Link, for giving away your points." the chinese man interrupted abruptly. This clearly made Howard angry. Allen felt like he wanted to give a big hug to Komui as a show of appreciation. "And I must add, knowing that you're only following the strict orders of Central Administration and I don't have the right of commanding you..."

"Yes, I'm aware. What's your point, Supervisor Lee?" asked Link, still annoyed.

"If you're inside a demanding situation, please do not hesitate on using your own methods as the agent you still are."

"You don't need to tell me."

"And above than anything else, you must take care of each other. Who knows what is this guy really capable of."

"Understood, Komui."

"You will leave tonight, through the New Orleans' portal. I've already got a Finder informed who'll be waiting for you there. You'll take a train to Nevada from there... You're dismissed." Komui finished, and as Allen, Link and Marie got up from the chairs. "Hold on a second, Marie. I'd like to have a few words with you."

Allen turned back, walking straight past Lenalee, silent and cold, he felt her stare over him but tried to ignore it. Maybe at this point Link would have noticed, that something between those friends wasn't going so well.

The albino couldn't say good-bye to Lenalee, not even with a small gaze. He didn't have the courage.

* * *

June 20th

Technically, in this part of the world it was the twentieth day, for the difference between time zones; here in America it was seven o' clock in the morning while in London were ten o' clock at night. But that wasn't what made Allen feel troubled as he stood still on this railway station at such an early hour. There was something else bothering him from a while now, and it was the fact that Komui by some sort of random reason decided to send Yu Kanda to the same mission he was.

Perhaps he really got some loose screws, because this wasn't one of his most wise choices.

But nevertheless, it was a good idea that Marie was sent here as well, otherwise they'd have both destroyed half of the station by now if they ever argued.

Fortunately they both haven't spoke to each all this time through, not even looking into each other's eyes.

As time passed by, the station started to get filled by people who had to wait for the train they were to take, to see family, business, anything that didn't concern to the exorcist's task.

Fifteen minutes later a hurried person came along wearing the white uniform of the Finders. She was young and tall, maybe twenty years old, her curly brown hair was carelessly combed on a ponytail. At first sight she looked quite attractive, but when they took a closer look to her face, they could notice all the scars and her right glass eye.

"Morning! You must be the ones that Chief Komui sent." She had a very high pitched voice, perhaps of the excitement she wore to see them, or so Allen thought. She had to be italian because of her funny accent. Aside that, she had a nice smile. "Mister Kanda! Nice to see you again!"

"... Who are you?" Kanda muttered with annoyance, incapable of recognizing that friendly Finder girl.

"Don't you remember me? It's Drusilla! We went together on a mission to Egypt three years ago, remember? You saved me from an Akuma back there!" she said enthusiastically. Maybe she was deluding herself, she seemed to like Kanda a lot.

"... I remember your name, not your face." he answered lacking on interest.

"And Mister Marie, nice to see you fine as well." she shook her hand with taller exorcist, seemingly like they knew each other too. But she looked little less excited than when she greeted Kanda.

"Thanks, glad you're also doing fine, Drusilla." Marie must have met her much more recently than his younger partner because he seemed to recognize the voice of the girl.

"And you must be Mister Walker. You look younger than I imagined." When she greeted the youngest one, she seemed charmed to meet him, perhaps for all the good things she heard about him.

"Pleasure." Walker just smiled warmly.

"What happened you your neck, Mister Walker?" she asked noting the white surgical collar that contrasted his black and red uniform. She didn't think she'd cause discomfort with her question, though. Allen tried to laugh a little, to disguise his tension.

"Ah... please, you can just call me Allen, miss Drusilla." he answered shaking the Finder's hand kindly.

"_Alrighty_, Allen." the italian nodded, very happily. "I'm at your service." at was like an immediate sympathy she felt by just meeting him; and also it seemed like he ignored Howard Link on purpose.

"When will the train arrive? We've been waiting here for half an hour." said the exorcist Kanda with great annoyance, calling out for the female Finder's attention, though apparently he didn't notice that just sixteen minutes passed since they were waiting.

"_Beh_, our train shall arrive within ten minutes or so. We'll be making a stop on Santa Fe, than another one on Las Vegas and finally we'll get to Carson City... When we finish our mission there, we'll be getting straight to the North American Headquarters somewhere on Arizona."

And as she said, their transport arrived, at seven and half in the morning. Lot of hurried people entered the first train, but this never meant trouble for the Black Order's passengers. By just showing the Rose Cross they'd be given first class rooms if they wanted to. Being allied to the Vatican seemly beneficial once in a while.

But however, Allen was aware of how uncomfortable would it be of he sat in the same room as Kanda, if they still got issues between. At moments like this, he felt grateful of having Marie hanging around, because he somehow managed to calm down their mutual tension. And Drusilla, well, she was just there. And if Kanda felt obliged to be just a little gentle around women, he'd be controlling himself. But since she belonged to the group of Finders, she'd be staying outside their first class booth for the exorcists and the agent to be alone with their thoughts.

"It should take us twenty-seven hours to arrive to Carson City if we don't waste our time on each stop." Link mentioned as he sat on the brown chamois armchair next to Allen. Marie was sitting in front of the boy so he didn't have to face Kanda. But if Allen had to stand up to go to the restroom, he'd be obliged to pass him by.

"At least we've saved us a lot of days of ship-travelling, thanks to the Ark's portal." said Marie.

"Does anyone want something to drink?" Drusilla's voice announced from the outside of the room. "They're offering here some wine and water."

"... Hand over some wine." silently muttered the exorcist Kanda.

Nobody expected that. Always thinking that Kanda loathed any kind of food or drink that was western. Marie, however, seemed worried.

"... Well, that's okay. Do you want the full bottle? Or just a glass?"

"Wait Kanda, remember what the Master said about you and the wine..."

"Shut it, Marie. I want the bottle and also the glass, please." he said, overlooking of his elder partner.

"Anybody else wants something?" she asked once more.

"Water." Link ordered with firm voice. "Make it a tankard, along with three glasses."

After a few seconds, Drusilla opened the door of the exorcists' booth and attended the orders. Kanda stared at everyone with cold eyes, as if they somehow believed he just committed a crime. Then he observed at the green bottle or wine, confirming its' age quality. With no effort he removed the cork with his own fingers, then the evoking aroma of the liquid hit on Allen's nostrils, making revive inside his head the countless times he suffered because of Cross Marian's deeds.

Yu had at his disposal a little table where he placed the glass, then poured some wine on it, not filling it. He slowly delivered the container to his lips, drinking without a rush.

"Didn't know you liked wine." Allen added, apparently unconscious that he wasn't on good terms with Yu Kanda.

A sharp stare was abruptly directed to the boy. It was yet early, the train machine had just begun to run, and now Allen was again bothering him.

"Gotta do something to ignore your annoying presence for the next twenty-seven hours." he simply answered while he took a deeper gulp to the wine glass, faster than he should. This made Allen even more upset.

"Kanda, that's enough. That drink was enough. Just remember what happened last time..."

"Shut it, Marie. I'm not a fucking drunk-tard." he answered sharply. After that cup, he didn't speak to anyone anymore, just submerging himself into his privet thoughts.

Allen truly wondered the reason why did Kanda decide to take this mission, and what were his plans. He knew that Komui wouldn't have sent him if being conscious that he almost got killed by him just days ago, so Allen presumed that it had to be Yu's choice to come all the way here. The young man wanted to think that Kanda decided to believe in his words and come to the North Americn branch in search for Alma.

Had to be that. Otherwise, Kanda was just the stubborn bastard he appeared to be.

* * *

The train was getting through a desert, and it was evening already. The sight they could appreciate from their window was just plain gorgeous; however, one could just feel tainted to open up the window to let some fresh air in. This would be the third time that Allen went to the bathroom, and each of those times he encountered with Drusilla to chat a little. She ended up being incredibly talkative and nice, perhaps even more cheerful than Lavi himself.

When he came back from attending his needs, Link told him off about his unstable bladder—inside nine hours, he went three times to the restroom, somehow Link found this as abnormal—, besides the time he _wasted_ while talking to the female Finder. Allen apologized, putting all the blame on the amount of water he drank all the way through. Drusilla laughed softly for the small arguing between the inspector and the exorcist.

"I'm sorry, mister Link, but I find amusing to talk to Allen." said the young lady. "Besides, there are eighteen hours left to get to Carson..., and it's not fun to stand all the way here doing nothing but to watch on your door."

"Well then, tell me, miss Drusilla, were you part of the team of Finders that were researching that zone? For you to be accompanying us, you must be familiar with the city we're going."

"Actually yes, I was on the first week of expedition on Carson City. We were investigating some supernatural cases related to massive allucinations... we discovered some kind of crystal dust on the flowers on the public gardens... but it wasn't full Innocence." she took a breath. "But then I was called by other team on New Mexico, and I left the investigation on Carson City."

Her face faded to sadness at the moment she spoke. Her smile was somewhat bitter, so then she looked at Allen's gray eyes with her own black one along with the one made of glass.

"I heard the only one left was Martin..." she said, even more soured. "I never liked that_ moccioso_, always looking so cocky and overdoing himself. And yet, he had to die just like Lucas and Mariana. Maybe... maybe Lluvia, Albert and Cybill are still alive, or... they could be the same." she was now entirely different from what she showed minutes ago. Drusilla was depressed. It was the pain of losing her comrades. "_Quell'idiota di Martin_... I didn't like him, but yet... he didn't deserve it. He didn't have to die."

It was really curious, how it was that only from her left eye the tears started to run down, perhaps it was for the damage on her right eye socket. She really seemed to regret the loss of her team. Wasn't any different from everyone else, for the most of Finders always mourned the death of their companions.

"It'll only make me feel better if... we find the others. I'd like to think that they're still alive, somewhere around that place. That's my only hope to keep on going through this mission." said the young Finder, recovering bit by bit that smile that yearned for hope.

"We're going to find them, you'll see." Allen, always showing his endless optimism, though it was a blinding light of hope. "I won't give up until we get to find our comrades."

"You're so sweet, Allen." the italian girl thanked him. Her smile seemed brighter again, like it could erase the scars that marked her white face.

"Trust me, miss, that he isn't like that all the time." Link commented interfering. Shames, Allen nodded laughing, so the Finder kept up with the game.

"Hey, I'm trying to keep myself cool, you know." he mentioned.

"You're such a good looking boy..." the scarred cheeks of Drusilla flushed as she spoke. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

This took him by surprise.

"Huh? No! Of course not!" He didn't knew if he could even have a girlfriend or lover, since through his life he never thought about getting one lady for himself. But lately he'd been watching all his close friends getting on some kind of amorous relationship, like Marie with Miranda, like Kanda with Emilia, and Lavi with...—_whoever the hell she was_—, and him... he was just kissed once, against his will, by the Noah girl Road Kamelot.

But if he ever thought about hanging out with a girl, the one he was always thinking about was Lenalee Lee; although if he thought it well, it'd be impossible to be with her, not only because he was being watched by Link and he'd be crushed by Komui Lee's chaotic paranoia, but it was also about the horrid incident at the nursery with her. At this rate he was still light-years away from engaging a relatioship with Lenalee. Anyways, right now wasn't the time to think about that.

"Then... have you ever...?" the female finder continued to ask despite Allen's sudden silence.

"That question is out of context."

"_Spiacente_... but since Allen looks so cute, I just thought that I could ask." she simply answered. Allen blushed so much that his face looked like a bright red tomato. "Even though mister Kanda is really cute as well."

"Kanda? Cute?" the boy suddenly blurted, almost felt a jealousy rage over him, not for Drusilla, but for the indirect comparison to Kanda. "What part of him could possibly be considered as _cute_?"

"Well... he's got a beautiful hair." she carelessly spat. Allen then vaguely wondered if Drusilla was aware of Kanda being with Emilia. "Although albino hair is interesting too. You're albino, right?

"I... don't think so."

"So how old you said you were?"

"Sixteen, more or less."

"Oh, so you're already a grown up man... Sorry, I just don't ask this to men who I just met... but, uhm, after this mission... I was wondering... would you like to go out with me?"

"Whoa, that... I don't know. Maybe I..." the boy stuttered with a smirk. He wasn't sure anymore if he was comfortable with this conversation. And Link didn't show it so either, their faces were both red. It was obvious that the female Finder was starting to flirt with the exorcist, and didn't have the discretion of not doing it in front of his watcher.

Link didn't stay with arms crossed and felt forced to separate the two of them to don't let them dive any further in the conversation. Link knew it wasn't considered correct to see an exorcist being emotionally or sexually attracted to another server from the Black Order, specially if it was a Finder.

"_Beh_, then... will we talk about it later?"

"I..."

"Don't you dare to answer, Walker." Link interrupted, indignant as he pulled Allen back to the booth.

When they closed the door from the room and returned with Marie and Kanda. Yu had already drank his third glass of wine, fighting against his sleepiness, his face slightly resting against the crystal wall of his side. The sun was setting and its' golden shine kept on irritating his almond eyes. Marie just seemed to be sleeping all fine. The poor one didn't have much to do all this time through since his fellow disciple easily got mad if he ever dared to play his musical string instrument in the middle of tense times. Allen would have liked to encourage Marie to play just one melody, but he'd end up starting a new senseless dispute against Kanda, The Idiot.

* * *

(1).– This idea came out from the manga MPD Psycho, at the first volume one similar case like this appears. I'm just taking this idea borrowed, okay?

**A/N: Stupid Tentacle Porn fanfic y u made me so occupied? And again, I apologize for the great delay, cause I kinda re-made the spanish fanfic and that'll give to us A LOT of work for the next weeks and months... even years!**

**And since we don't really know much about late 19th century trains and stuff, I just kinda improvised. I hope it isn't too unaccurate. And no. LINK. IS. NOT. JEALOUS. OF. THE FINDER GIRL. Morality doesn't support LinkxAllen in the fanfic. :P**

**IKWYS: And Honey Kefka, she shouldn't change her fricking nickname every week! Bitch, you're almost like the utter owner of the account!**

**Kefka: My new nickname is awesome, stfu, i love you babe. **


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